ON MY MIND, I have now been in my new home for 10 days. So, this morning, I went out for groceries, vowing to get in some exercise. I tried some new streets and began to feel better. The air is cool and “brisk”, and fall is in the air. I am glad that the move is behind me. I walked 1.3 miles – not a lot but a start. I did not do much of anything during the move, and I have not felt good. But I must help myself help myself. I got Wi-Fi and began watching some of the depressing news. Again. Ugh. And, then I had a reality check. Again.
What have I done for 10 days? What reality check?
I have been very busy. Doing what??? I have been figuring things out, getting WiFi, figuring out machines, getting groceries. Dumping garbage. I went to the street market. I got a pedicure. I said goodbye to Rue Racine and the 6e. I ended services at the old place. I started services in the new place. I took lots of naps, feeling exhausted a lot. (I cannot use the balcony because of the cat. I cannot hang the art because the man to hang art is on vacation. The man to cat proof balcony is on vacation.) Most things are on hold until September, October. I am not into trying restaurants yet. I am seeing a new doctor this week. Missy is better but not good. She needs a vet. I have lots of invitations but little energy. So I am keeping it simple.
Reality Check? I need to enjoy the process NOW. You see, I have usually thought that “as soon as I get everything fixed, I would enjoy myself.” No. I cannot wait. I must enjoy the search. In other words, I need to help myself get everything fixed, enjoy the “fixing”, myself included. How? Walk a little every day. Breathe. Walk. Drink water. Enjoy all of it. Don’t wait. Enjoy it now. Last night, I saw the moon and some stars. I look at the sky a lot. People here are amazed that I moved away from the 6e. I like nature. Less buildings and more air. Well, I cannot explain it. It is a feeling. Inside. My reality check is that I cannot wait to enjoy all of it AFTER it is fixed. I cannot wait.
People have been wonderful. Very helpful. I am seeing my pretty things anew. I see things differently. Everything feels new. The fall feels new. Here are some photographs I wanted to take. No good reason.
Reality Check! Enjoy it now. Most of you know how I feel about the USA right now. I don’t need agreement from any of you. But, even if Trump wins in 2020, he cannot stop the future from coming. AND, it will be a world we will not be able to control. AND, if history is any guide, when that happens, hopefully, Americans will rally and the USA will restore the principle of equality before the law, and push America into the future.
Best, Jay
JAYSPEAK 
woo hoo on the move – glad you are liking the new place.
i got Steve’s first book – my husband is reading it first – he likes it. thank you for posting all of Steve’s books.
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Annie, this makes me very happy that your husband is reading Steve’s book. He had so much fun writing them! His heart and soul went into Titanic. I also enjoyed reading it very much. Jay! Maybe your comment will gather some interest! I hope so.
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You have a very nice apartment. I hope you & Missy feel better soon.
This pandemic has caused a lot of anxiety & isolation, & depression.
During all this, my daughter learned that she has Stage 4 cancer. She is taking chemotherapy now & will have surgery at Emory when that’s over.
Needless to say, I’m praying for her night and day.
So, your post is spot on, we need each day as if our last. I pray Pat will beat this.
I didn’t follow your advice to not comment anymore, I still consider you a friend.
I don’t understand, either.
Be well🙏
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Hi, Marie, I am very sorry that your daughter is fighting cancer. What kind of cancer is it? Is it one that responds to treatment? I hope so. My sister Patricia put up a good fight and gained a lot of years as a result. I pray that she will beat it, too. Jay
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Reblogged this on JAYSPEAK.
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Thanks, Kay. Yes, the air feels wonderful. I love fall, too. And, things will be up and running by October. Off and on during September. But, better. Yes, I think this apartment is a winner!!
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I have a good feeling about your new place. It is almost September so maybe you won’t have to wait too long for the people you need to get back to work. I love those mornings this time of year when you I can just feel that hint of fall.
Oh yes, I need your need address.
Kay >
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