This is on my mind this week….
I am so happy that I am still alive and trying to get better but it’s not easy because I am still dizzy and confused and I had my first therapy session today . Ugh !
HELP!!!!!
I dont want to do anything. I want to go home .
No one tells me anything They trick me !
Okay I need to get a grip!
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One thought….
I realized today that I’ve been looking at things all the wrong way..
Well, at least for me.
I’ve been thinking my life wasn’t enough or that things haven’t gone my way so much that I’ve forgotten that I can control it all.
It’s up to me what I see- not just what I look at.
I’ve been staring at the glass thinking it’s not full enough or too empty and stopped remembering that I can keep filling that glass every day just as much as I want to.
I don’t have to be okay with accepting less than I want…
In fact, I’m tired of that.
I need more.
I deserve more.
More happiness, more fun, more things that fill my soul and fire my passions.
I’m through chasing empty pursuits, hanging around negativity and letting toxic people stay in my life.
I’m not going to keep looking at that glass and hoping it was fuller.
I will take every chance to fill it to the brim and live the life I want.
No more settling, excuses and feeling disappointed.
I’ve tried that and it just doesn’t work.
I’m welcoming all the people, places and adventures that make me feel alive and bring depth to my soul.
Maybe that means taking road trip without a map.
Perhaps that means dancing in the kitchen with the music turned all the way up.
Or maybe, just maybe…
That means setting out in search of love, laughter and happily ever after-
And never looking back.
———
Another idea
What goes around comes around.
I didn’t believe that my family would abandon me in my old age but they did and have ! My daughter told me she was going to. I didn’t believe her. I should have because she did. Oops
She thought I was a witch with supernatural powers. I wish…..
And I am alive and alone in Paris France. Without supernatural powers. Oops
Welllllllll. It could be a lot worse. There, for the grace of God, go I.
BIG OOPS!!!!!
But the only important thing is that I am alive and I was 86 on March 30th.
My grandmother lived to be 112 almost. So my DNA is good. I still have time to write a book about my interesting life,
I’m trying to write something down and let my thoughts free flow for a few minutes.
I wish…
What?
What do I wish?
To be younger
To get stronger
To travel places
To have Good health
So I am focusing on good health.
Mother did a wonderful job with her family. Bravo for Mother and now it is New Year’s Eve and I didn’t like 2022. Good bye Mother was fear based NO!
Flip to Maverick
I love the holidays.
This Christmas, I realized for the first time how frightened Mary must have been to be pregnant and no one would believe her that she had not had sex with a man. I wouldn’t. Would you ? No. And Joseph helped her anyway because he loved her.
I was pregnant and knew I was pregnant but I had slept with a man and a baby girl was on her way I chose to have her.
And the Magi were people in foreign countries who were astrologers and had to travel by camel caravans. It took a long time. Maybe a year or more.
WOW
I want to write a book letting my mind just free flow and see what happens . I have written excellent posts on Jayspeak and people from all over the world read what I have to say!!! Amazing! Maybe . I have to remember how to use the computer with the new brain I am working with.
I have had a wonderful life and I think it would be a wonderful film for a producer and it is still going on!! I have lots of ideas for Paris but got stopped in my tracks by the pandemic and brain strokes and fear galore. But I think it will be over at some point and I will continue…. The War and the New Normal and Climate Change and God’s Plan to be a light in the dark for a hurting world. I often think of my daughter. She is 65
I have some additional information to add as time goes on. Spring is around the corner and I am glad.
Why did I unfriend so many people ? I wish I had not done that. Adele Scheele linking and connecting . Her book is Skills for Success and I followed her recommendations.
So I have begun to do it again in Paris and I will see how it goes. I may rent a summer cottage in Brittany this summer. But I would need help to get from here to there. It all takes money . Hmmm
Best , Jay
JAYSPEAK 