I am writing from the hospital bed so please understand
A thought ..,,,
I don’t like daylight savings time. And I don’t like coverups. Truth does not matter anymore and I don’t like that.
I like nighttime for sleeping and ´
TRUTH MATTERS
Another thought …….
I realized today that I’ve been looking at things all the wrong way..
Well, at least for me.
I’ve been thinking my life wasn’t enough or that things haven’t gone my way so much that I’ve forgotten that I can control it all.
It’s up to me what I see- not just what I look at.
I’ve been staring at the glass thinking it’s not full enough or too empty and stopped remembering that I can keep filling that glass every day just as much as I want to.
I don’t have to be okay with accepting less than I want…
In fact, I’m tired of that.
I need more.
I deserve more.
More happiness, more fun, more things that fill my soul and fire my passions.
I’m through chasing empty pursuits, hanging around negativity and letting toxic people stay in my life.
I’m not going to keep looking at that glass and hoping it was fuller.
I will take every chance to fill it to the brim and live the life I want.
No more settling, excuses and feeling disappointed.
I’ve tried that and it just doesn’t work.
I’m welcoming all the people, places and adventures that make me feel alive and bring depth to my soul.
Maybe that means taking road trip without a map.
Perhaps that means dancing in the kitchen with the music turned all the way up.
Or maybe, just maybe…
That means setting out in search of love, laughter and happily ever after-
And never looking back
Another thought…..
There is little you can do to make everyone like you.
Some people will see the real you, straight away.
The you with the worries, the fears, the kind heart.
Others will only see what you have that is not theirs.
Or who you have.
Or a life that sparkles a tad too brightly for their liking.
In Some People’s Story You’re An Angel, In Others You’re The Villain.
And that is pretty much that.
If you are spending any time worrying how others see you, or whether they think you are a good person or not, you are wasting precious time my friend.
Precious time that is much needed elsewhere.
Is is universal truth that you cannot please all of the people all of the time.
That in fact, the best way to get even close to this goal, is to stop trying and to just be your authentic self, with kindness.
Always with kindness.
So, if you have been hurt by an unjust representation of you in someone’s story, take comfort in the fact that it is not the truth.
And that the right people will see that.
Keep your sparkly little light shining and your people will find you.
And they will stay.
And you will never have to convince them of who you are.
I wanted to get to Paris but do I want to stay here ??
I don’t know. I don’t like this apartment but I don’t have the money to move. And I am overthinking everything but this apartment is not quality and I don’t like it. And the days are flying by when I am on quality time.
But I have a Plan if I can find a way ..,
“The Plan”
I want to provide a Safe Haven for my people and family who need to feel safe in today’s chaotic world. I have named it “Chez Clarissa”and these are the details:
(I dont know if this will work – mixing the currencies of two countries but I am going to try because I need to get started and I have people to help me with international currencies)
Two story townhouse on a tree lined street in a gated community in an excellent neighborhood in Paris with a full staff of eight or nine saleries
– care taking couple of family with child in studio upstairs and salary to be negotiated
-chef
– soo chef in studio off kitchen
Gardener
Accountant
Personal Assistant
Driver and Mercedes
Couple on call for day trips
Service fresh flowers delivery everywhere on 4 tables
Real wood real brass working fireplace Steinway piano 2 dogs Missy and Laurel and two cats Chipper and Tigger
Concierge for booking
Budget is estimated at $3 million dollars but I don’t know about the income stream after the initial purchase so that could change.
Where is the money ??
I hope the universe will provide..´??
Well, I must work on it.
Today, I realized, there are really times when time passes us by not because time is spinning fast but actually because we have unconsciously let it. Like in the things unsaid, the risks not taken, and feelings taken advantage of, all because of fear or unforeseen circumstances.
Time and time again we are told, that life is too short to be overly conscious — to just live the way we want to, as long as we’re not purposely hurting or stepping on anyone; to live everyday because we only die once.
I hope we all find the courage to live — to not only exist and survive but to live abundantly doing what we love, with the people who matter to us, and with a sound heart and mind. I pray we all have that.
———-
Karma and Trauma Re – Activation
Did you know that every time you talk about an unhealed wound or trauma, you re-activate it in your emotional, spiritual and physical bodies? As you speak, or even think, about an old issue, you experience it as if it is happening right now. Since your subconscious mind does not know the difference between current experience and past memory, for all intents and purposes, the trauma or negative experience is happening now.
When you re-activate old painful memories, your thoughts, words and emotions create a negative karmic energy that you unknowingly project out into your future. This karmic energy manifests in more painful experiences, similar to the original issue. In other words, when issues come up without resolution, a karmic loop or pattern develops.
Each time this karmic pattern manifests in real life situations, you re-experience the original wound and the current hurt simultaneously. When this occurs, it is a powerful opportunity to heal the past wound by healing the current one.
Unfortunately, when an issue is re-activated, instead of using it as a healing opportunity, many of us react by pushing the wounds down with numbing substances like food, drugs, internet, Facebook, TV, and a long list of other distractions.
Unhealed issues get stored in the body, until we release them. The body obliges as a storehouse for emotional wounds but it does take its toll, especially if issues are accumulated for long periods of time. Storing wounds in the body eventually weakens the body and invites illness and disease, as well as causing depression, fatigue, stress and weight gain. The good news is that the body is ready to release issues, the moment you are.
When an unhealed issue is re-activated, don’t just push it down – take the time to finally heal it. This means creating intentional space to feel your emotions and allow the issue to process through to Healing. Once you allow yourself to fully experience these emotions for the first time, without resistance, you will innately know what path to healing is right for you.
Wounds are meant to be healed. We are not meant to spend our lives carrying around past issues and hurts. Unhealed issues weigh us down, keep us asleep and prevent us from consciously creating. It is only our personal issues that stop us from experiencing our greatest potential. Holding onto issues keeps us limited and unable to reach that mountain top.
Because of the shifts going on in the collective consciousness and the higher energy now available on this planet, it has never been easier to release old issues. In fact, issues are now coming to the surface to be resolved. This is why so many of us are experiencing familiar challenges. Wounds want to be healed and issues want to be released, but you have the last say. None of this can happen until you are ready and willing.
You are meant to be free and clear of emotional burdens. You are meant to live a limitless life with an abundance of love and creativity. You are meant to stand on the mountain top with arms stretched wide – willing to receive your grandest dreams. The Universe is listening. Nanice Ellis
👵Written by a 90 year old, 42 lessons life taught me 💖
It is something we should all read at least once a week! Make sure you read to the end!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 42 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short – enjoy it..
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
11. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
12. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it…
14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
15. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
16. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
17. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.(amen 💖💖💖)
20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
21. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.💖
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter? Only write a book if you want to.
25. Always choose life.
26. Forgive but don’t forget.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does..
31. Believe in miracles.
32. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
33. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
34. Your children get only one childhood.
35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. (I love this one)
37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.
39. The best is yet to come…
40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
41. Yield.
42. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”
💗
And finally
Women, you can begin to heal your feminine energy by limiting who has access to you. You need to see yourself as precious as a diamond & very valuable. It does not matter if no one else is seeing this worth, it matters that you do. Just as you would ensure a very rare & special diamond needs high protection, so does your essence & being. Only those that truly meet you correctly should have a key to enter you. This is the fastest way out of engaging with karmics, jesters, page boy energies.
Your time & energy are very valuable & by prioritizing yourself & self-worth, you will begin to see a shift in the quality of your connections & draw in healthy masculine energy that provides safety & full commitment of a King or Emperor. Put your own heart on the pedestal & trust it can & will be matched. You do not have to pull yourself down to receive love. You do not need to ever participate in uneven exchanges of energy. Be cautious of your social presence also. Limiting access to you applies for this too. Each time you do not feel validated in any way, instead of giving away your beautiful energy, see yourself as a child, hug yourself, validate your child self with love.~ 𝐴𝑏𝑖𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑙 𝑆𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑟 𝑆ℎ𝑒𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑎ℎ
I am so glad I am old and alive. I don’t want to die. Not yet.
I still have things that I want to do.
Just some thoughts about getting old and getting older as a woman with three grown children and grandchildren…..
__________
Thought 1: What does it feel like to be old?
The other day, a young person asked me: – What did it feel like to be old?
I was very surprised by the question, since I did not consider myself old. When he saw my reaction, he was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question. And after reflection, I concluded that getting old is a gift.
Sometimes I am surprised at the person who lives in my mirror. But I don’t worry about those things for long. I wouldn’t trade everything I have for a few less gray hairs and a flat stomach. I don’t scold myself for not making the bed, or for eating a few extra “little things.” I am within my rights to be a little messy, to be extravagant, and to spend hours staring at my flowers.
I have seen some dear friends leave this world, before they had enjoyed the freedom that comes with growing old.
-Who cares if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 in the morning and then sleep until who knows what time?
I will dance with me to the rhythm of the 50’s and 60’s. And if later I want to cry for some lost love…I will!
I’ll walk down the beach in a swimsuit that stretches over my plump body and dive into the waves letting myself go, despite the pitying looks of the bikini-wearers. They’ll get old too, if they’re lucky…
It is true that through the years my heart has ached for the loss of a loved one, for the pain of a child, or for seeing a pet die. But it is osuffering that gives us strength and makes us grow. An unbroken heart is sterile and will never know the happiness of being imperfect.
I am proud to have lived long enough for my hair to turn gray and to retain the smile of my youth, before the deep furrows appeared on my face.
Now, to answer the question honestly, I can say: -I like being old, because old age makes me wiser, freer!-.
I know I’m not going to live forever, but while I’m here, I’m going to live by my own laws, those of my heart.
I’m not going to regret what wasn’t, nor worry about what will be.
The time that remains, I will simply love life as I did until today, the rest I leave to God.
Thought 2:
Old age, I decided, is a gift.
I am now,
probably for the first time in my life,
the person I have always wanted to be.
Oh, not my body!
I sometime despair over my body –
the wrinkles,
the baggy eyes and the sagging butt.
And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror,
but I don’t agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life,
my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly.
As I’ve aged,
I’ve become more kind to myself and less critical of myself.
I’ve become my own friend.
I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie,
or for not making my bed,
or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need,
but looks so avante garde on my patio.
I am entitled to overeat,
to be messy,
to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon;
before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4:00 am and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s & 60s,
and if I,
at the same time,
wish to weep over a lost love, I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to,
despite the pitying glances from the bikini set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful.
But there again,
some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.
How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one,
or when a child suffers,
or when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.
A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
I can say “no” and mean it.
I can say “yes” and mean it.
As you get older,
it is easier to be positive.
You care less about what other people think.
I don’t question myself anymore.
I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question,
I like being old.
It has set me free.
I like the person I have become.
I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here,
I will not waste time lamenting what could have been,
or worrying about what will be.
And I shall eat dessert every single day.
Thought 3:
Women, you can begin to heal your feminine energy by limiting who has access to you. You need to see yourself as precious as a diamond & very valuable. It does not matter if no one else is seeing this worth, it matters that you do. Just as you would ensure a very rare & special diamond needs high protection, so does your essence & being. Only those that truly meet you correctly should have a key to enter you. This is the fastest way out of engaging with karmics, jesters, page boy energies.
Your time & energy are very valuable & by prioritizing yourself & self-worth, you will begin to see a shift in the quality of your connections & draw in healthy masculine energy that provides safety & full commitment of a King or Emperor. Put your own heart on the pedestal & trust it can & will be matched. You do not have to pull yourself down to receive love. You do not need to ever participate in uneven exchanges of energy. Be cautious of your social presence also. Limiting access to you applies for this too.
Each time you do not feel validated in any way, instead of giving away your beautiful energy, see yourself as a child, hug yourself, validate your child self with love.
Thought 4:
Oh, darling, I hear what they say about me..
And frankly, I just don’t care-
It’s the same thing they’ve always said and I’m quite used to it.
I’m too much, too opinionated, too strong, too loud..just too hard to handle.
They search for all the words they can find trying to describe me and they don’t ever realize-
I’ll never fit into that pretty little definition of what they want me to be.
No, I’m proudly one of a kind- a messy mixture of chaos and curves who knows who she is and isn’t afraid to share it with the world.
Forget the rules and the properness of it all.
I’m never going to live my life by anything other than the passion of my heart.
I’m going to chase my dreams, steal away the beautiful moments and speak my mind.
You’ll never forget me, but then, why would you want to?
You’ll never meet another woman like me, so don’t expect me to stick around if you don’t like who I am or think I’m “too much” of anything..
You don’t have to be in my life -it’s a choice.
I love the person I am and I enjoy my growth..
Into something and someone better.
So, yeah, I may be a beautiful mess sometimes, have no idea how I’m going to get it all done, but I always find a way to slay my days and conquer the obstacles.
This is my life and these are my choices.
I love the people in my circle fiercely , so if you want to get close to me, be real, be passionate and most of all, be open minded.
Life’s never the same every day, it’s just a matter of rising to meet the challenges.
And I don’t know about you,
But my journey and my life are right where they’re supposed to be:
Awesome, fulfilling and happy.
I love me..just the way that I am.
Thought 5:
I don’t know how long I will live.
I feel like that child who won a packet of sweets: he ate the first with pleasure, but when he realized that there were few left, he began to enjoy them intensely.
I no longer have time for endless meetings where statutes, rules, procedures and internal regulations are discussed, knowing that nothing will be achieved.
I no longer have time to support the absurd people who, despite their chronological age, haven’t grown up.
My time is too short:
I want the essence,
my soul is in a hurry.
I don’t have many sweets
in the package anymore.
I want to live next to human people,
very human,
who know how to laugh at their mistakes,
and who are not inflated by their triumphs,
and who take on their responsibilities.
Thus human dignity is defended and we move towards truth and honesty.
It is the essential that makes life worth living.
I want to surround myself with people who know how to touch hearts, people who have been taught by the hard blows of life to grow with gentle touches of the soul.
Yes, I’m in a hurry, I’m in a hurry to live with the intensity that only maturity can give.
I don’t intend to waste any of the leftover sweets.
I am sure they will be delicious, much more than what I have eaten so far.
My goal is to reach the end satisfied
and at peace with my loved ones
and my conscience.
We have two lives.
And the second begins when you realize you only have one.
I think that we need to be building bridges rather than putting up walls to keep people out. Are we building bridges or putting up walls? I am doing both but I am trying to build bridges!
Except if I don’t get treated well, I put up a wall and block that person. Oops!
Welllllll…. Let’s think about it.
————-
A thought!
“The TRUTH is, that all of the ‘STUFF’ here on earth we work so hard to buy and accumulate … does not mean a thing.
At the end of the day … people will be cleaning out our ‘STUFF’, going through our ‘STUFF’, figuring out what to do with all of our ‘STUFF’…
This ‘STUFF’ we’ve accumulated in our life.
The only thing of VALUE that remains, are the MEMORIES and what we deposit into others.
May we all learn to spend less time accumulating ‘STUFF’ and spend way more time making MEMORIES. Build a bridge!
—————
Another thought…..The impasse du Labrador, Paris 15th, an authentic charm
The impasse du Labrador is a street in the 15th arrondissement of Paris.
It is well hidden in the middle of the streets of this district which is part of the Petite Ceinture area.
The Petite Ceinture is a 32 km long railway line built around Paris during the Second Empire (1852-1869). This railway line carried passengers until 1934 and goods until the end of the 1970s. Today it is no longer in service and has been transformed into a green space. When you walk around this famous Petite Ceinture, you may come across some delightful streets or dead ends, like the impasse du Labrador.
In this beautiful impasse du Labrador, you don’t really feel in Paris anymore. The calm, the birds singing, the gates behind which you can see large gardens… There is also this little house in yellow tones which contrasts with the buildings.
Build a bridge! YES!!!!
———
Could not believe I’d hear from you as it has been so many years. Iit’s only since Steve passed away that you have rekindled connections with your immediate family , culminating in your son visiting Nice a few years ago . To suppose that the family have ‘ abandoned ‘ you because of brain damage, might be true , but I think not . YOU from what you told me , gave up on them well before that . Not my business but maybe an idea to build on what you achieved only recently
Your soul knows what you need. It knows which way to go. Listen carefully to those uneasy feelings you get. Those are signs. Notice headaches, and if your gut hurts or when you’re extra tired. Certain relationships will become draining. Or you’ll notice you’ve become addicted to their recognition and validation so much that you forget your internal compass. Your soul knows this and will relentlessly steer you to your true path.
You will likely need to leave a few folks behind because they’ve clipped your wings with assumptions and labels. You’ve played the game for so long that they see you through their eyes, and it isn’t pretty. It’s tinted with pity, envy, jealousy, or anger. This is a sneaky, sticky form of dominance to keep you small. It will hurt when you recognize this, but staying will keep you trapped, and you’ll hurt more.
Once you leave the relationship, end the dependency, and clear your path of distractions, it will be freeing and confusing. There might be a lot of self-doubt because it is so uncomfortable. Until it isn’t. Clarity has a sound of joy. Life will be brighter. Dreams will return. Sleep will be deeper. You will grow new feathers as you heal. New connections will find you as your soul shines true. You are no longer a grain of sand lost on a beach. You’ve set sail to a new land. This is soul speak. It is real. You are real. You are a masterpiece. Let no one take that from you. Believe. Listen. And trust your soul. You think you are better than most people because you live in Paris but you are not!!!!
Oops. Build a wall! Block???
Another thought ……
10 Deep Psychology And Philosophy Quotes From “Carl Jung”
1. “The world will ask you who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.”
2. “If a man knows more than others, he becomes lonely.”
3. “Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves.”
4. “Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.”
5. “You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”
6. “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.”
7. “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate
8. “Be grateful for your difficulties and challenges, for they hold blessings.
(In fact… Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for healthy personal growth, individuation, and self-actualization.)
9. “Everyone you meet knows something you don’t know but
need to know. Learn from them.”
10. “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
Wellllll
I am going to try to become a person who build bridges but it is not easy for me.. it’s easy to always build walls.
Paris has lots of bridges . People leave but come back- like a magnet.
Paris is now my home. And I will leave you with this piece that I love.
I counted my years and found that I have less time to live from here on than I have lived up to now.
I feel like that child who won a packet of sweets: he ate the first with pleasure, but when he realized that there were few left, he began to enjoy them intensely.
I no longer have time for endless meetings where statutes, rules, procedures and internal regulations are discussed, knowing that nothing will be achieved.
I no longer have time to support the absurd people who, despite their chronological age, haven’t grown up.
My time is too short:
I want the essence,
and
My soul is in a hurry.
I don’t have many sweets In the package anymore.
I want to live next to human people, very human,
who know how to laugh at their mistakes, and who are not inflated by their triumphs, and who take on their responsibilities.
Thus human dignity is defended and we move towards truth and honesty.
It is the essential that makes life worth living.
I want to surround myself with people who know how to touch hearts, people who have been taught by the hard blows of life to grow with gentle touches of the soul.
Yes, I’m in a hurry, I’m in a hurry to live with the intensity that only maturity can give.
I don’t intend to waste any of the leftover sweets.
I am sure they will be delicious, much more than what I have eaten so far.
My goal is to reach the end satisfied and at peace with my loved ones and my conscience.
We have two lives. And the second begins when you realize you only have one!
~
The bridges in Paris come in handy. There are 37 of them criss-crossing the river and connecting the two sides of the city. Fortunately, in keeping with its reputation, the bridges of Paris are as beautiful as they are functional.
These are things to think about. What is easy for you? I hope you will build bridges. I am going to try.
A new chapter ! New life and new chapter .? You do too!
I LIKE Chapter 11!!
It’s time ! Lots of ideas. No time for regrets . Full steam ahead!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I need to enlarge my universe again!!!!
I sometimes forget that I was created for Joy.
My mind is too busy.
My Heart is too heavy for me to remember that I have been called to dance the Sacred dance of life.
I was created to smile, to love, to be lifted up and to lift others up.
Oh Sacred One, untangle my feet from all that ensnares.
Free my soul that we might dance and that our dancing might be contagious.
Hey You! I am talking you!
You know you’ve been telling yourself what you can’t do, how you’re too old for this and too tired for that.
Well, you’re wrong.
I know life has been bumpy and you’ve been knocked down, but lift your head, open your eyes and get up.
Don’t you dare give up on your dreams and everything you’ve wanted.
There’s so much life and love in you that you haven’t even realized yet…
So it’s time to stop making excuses and start making plans.
I’m not telling you that it’s going to be easy, fast or painless.
I’m telling you that you can do it and that it’s worth it.
Nothing worth having ever comes easily, and your dreams and desires aren’t any different.
You’ve known what you wanted and who you’ve wanted to be for a long time..
Now it’s time to get up, dust yourself off and start moving forward.
Stop looking over your shoulder and holding onto the painful past.
Remember the lessons but let go of the pain.
It’s not doing anything but weighing you down.
You are capable of more than you know, but you’re going to have to start believing in yourself- even if it’s a little bit at a time.
One step after another, day after day…you’ll get where you’re meant to be.
Maybe it won’t be where you thought you wanted to be, but you’ll realize it’s where you need to be.
Learn.
Love.
Live.
Grow.
Turn the page and start a new chapter.
You are worthy of great things, beautiful love and wonderful tomorrows.
Now open your eyes and start becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.
You can’t catch your dreams if you’re standing still.
Fly, darling, fly.
You’ll soon find your wings..
And you’ll be glad you never gave up.
Anything is possible if you just believe!
———
I can’t stay, mother.
I love you, but I wasn’t born to please you
I wasn’t born to make you happy
or give your life meaning.
I wasn’t born to rot under your wings
like an unhatched egg.
I can’t stay, teacher.
I wasn’t born to be put into your boxes
to think along your lines
or to memorize your facts
I was born to think independently.
I can’t stay, my love.
I wasn’t born to satisfy your needs
to take care of you
or to hide in your arms.
I wasn’t born to make myself smaller
or to be taken for granted.
I can’t stay, boss.
I wasn’t born to make money for others
I wasn’t born to follow orders
or to repeat the same day over and over again
I wasn’t born for boredom.
I can’t stay, master.
I wasn’t born to follow your ideas of what truth is
or to live according to your dogmas.
I was born to find my own truth
and make my own rules.
I was born to meet life full on
To get lost on Indian trains
To be seduced by dangerous men
To meet different faces, places and cultures
to be out in the jungle all night
To run with wolves
To be swept off my feet
To be taken by storm
To be heartbroken
Devastated
Stunned
Shocked
Lost
Thrown into the deep
I was born to get my hands dirty
To get sand in my mouth
Mud on my clothes
Thorns under my feet
I was born to jump into the abyss.
I was born to meet aliens
To do rituals
To be cracked open in ceremony
To go beyond time and space
To welcome magic
To totally loose myself
I was born to feel everything
To taste everything
The bitter taste of sorrow
The foul taste of deceit
The sweet taste of love
I was born to learn how to handle change gracefully
I was born to know the truth
to learn how to fly
I was born to learn how to speak the language of love
How to unchain my heart
How to shed everything
How to let go of all expectations.
I was born to learn how it feels to lose everything
except what really matters.
I was born to live a life that would strip away everything that wasn’t real
that wasn’t true
that wasn’t me
I am a phoenix.
I am born to spread my wings and fly towards the sun
To burn up and turn to ashes
To fall down to earth and rise up again
When I am old
I will be proud of my scars
My wrinkles
My memories
My stories
My wisdom
My freedom.
I was born to be free.
And therefore, I can’t stay!
———-
There comes a time in every woman’s life when she embarks on an Underworld journey. Indeed, she will visit the Underworld more than once during the course of her lifetime. This journey may be precipitated by the loss of someone she loves, or by a life-threatening illness, or a grave disappointment in career or craft. When it happens, she feels that all is lost. She is separated from everything she holds dear. She is in shock. She despairs. She grieves.
She descends to the realm of the Old One, the Crone, the Cailleach, the Grandmother, Lady Death, Hecate, Baba Yaga, Erishkegal, La Santa de Muerte. The Old One has a thousand names.
Our Hallowmas Woman might find herself in a darkened wood, on a night when no moon lights the sky, not even a thin crescent. She sits cross-legged in the dirt at a place where three roads meet, a basket of offerings at her side. She shivers as she hears the mournful howl of a black dog, its red eyes glaring at her out of the thicket. She watches the silver-thin filament of spiderweb twist and turn in the starlight. She feels the rush of cold, quick air as a hoot owl flies overhead, flapping its enormous wings.
She waits.
She sits silently at the crossroads, knowing that the comfortable, familiar terrain of her life has crumbled away and is no more. But it is not yet clear where she will go next, or what shape her days might take.
She waits for the counsel of the Old One.
And while she waits, she reflects. She begins to dream. She sorts through her emotions. Yes! I want that. No! I don’t want that. This is the life I want. Not that. She begins to have glimmers of ideas, a dream barely caught upon waking. What was that? An image, a scent, a feeling . . . it is shapeless, taking form, then shapeless again.
Even though she is heartbroken, she begins to find comfort in this liminal space, between here and there, past and future, now and then. She is poised on the threshold between her ancestors and her descendants, the Dark Moon and the New. She begins to sense that she is broken open, and her heart expands, light streaming out through the cracks. The veils between this world and the next are thin indeed.
We see the Hallowmas Woman in the stark November landscape, with its muted tones of olive, ochre, sienna brown. We find her in a cold statue in a graveyard, garlanded with dead roses, thorns, and blood-red rosehips. We see her in fogbound mornings when there is no distinction between sea, stones, and sky, and the Otherworld is just a step away. She lives within the brief days and long nights that draw us toward withdrawal and cocooning. The Hallowmas woman rests. She withdraws into herself. It is not a time of connection. She prefers her own company, turning down invitations to gather with others. The midwinter holidays will be here soon enough.
Perhaps, if she should be so lucky, a woman will live long enough in human years to embody the Old One literally. At 70 or 80 years old, she has walked the Great Round of life/death/renewal more than once. She knows how the story ends. Age does not automatically confer wisdom (there’s no fool like an old fool) — but by 70 years old, our Hallowmas woman has learned a thing or two about her soul’s purpose. She is well aware of the legacy that she will leave behind when she crosses the threshold.
Her body may be ravaged by disease or aging. Then again, she may be as flexible and strong as her 90-year-old neighbor who practices yoga and walks a mile or two every day. Keeping the physical body supple and healthy has never been as important as it is now, with a whole Underworld to explore. The Hallowmas woman has not had her moonflow in many years, and to be honest, she doesn’t really miss it. She’s content to be on the other side of the hormonal veil, and to leave the cycle of fertility and release to younger women.
When the time of All Hallows comes to a woman’s soul, she begins to make her peace with Lady Death, and with endings of all kinds. She knows, as the Fates do, that all things must pass. She knows herself as Atropos, She Who Cuts the Thread of Life; as the Queen of Swords, who slices away negativity, confusion, and doubt; as the Blue Dakini, who severs ties. She makes choices: this, she will keep. That, she will let go.
She begins to live as if Lady Death is peeking over her shoulder. Life is stripped down to its essentials. What is really important? In the end, what really matters?
She sorts through the possessions left by her parents and grandparents, after purging and giveaways and purging again. What remains are photographs, wedding rings, a Welsh Bible, a fraying crazy quilt, a fishing hat, a cherished wooden chair…
When we suspect our time might be short, our priorities become quite simple. Finish that painting, that poem, that song; forgive him, and her, and that one too. Spend time with the ones we love; visit the edge of salt water and stones every day. While we’re there, be sure to pick up beach glass, then give it away. Sing to the Blessed Mother. Light a candle and breathe a prayer for the wild and holy earth, for the benefit of all beings. Be present to the beauty that surrounds us. Every day is a gift of grace.
The Hallowmas woman has been sitting long enough at the crossroads. The Ancient One emerges from the thicket of thorns, the black hound at her side, a green snake wrapped around her arm. She offers the woman a sliced-open pomegranate, its ruby seeds spilling out. With her inner ear, the woman hears the ritual words: ‘Take, eat: the fruit of death, which is life.’ She swallows nine pomegranate seeds, savoring the tart, bittersweet flavor on her tongue. The Crone points a bony finger toward one of three paths, and the Hallowmas woman moves on. She casts one last look over her shoulder as she leaves the Underworld, then turns to search for a first glimpse of the New Moon.
On our deathbeds, when we’ve run out of time, and no more books will be written, no more songs will be sung, and no more canvases will be painted — when that time comes, and we are poised to cross the threshold into the Great Unknown — all that matters is love. The fierce love we’ve had for the sacred earth, for our friends and family and lovers, and the love that has flowed back to us in return. Our overflowing hearts have been cracked open, mended and broken open again.
All that matters is love .
———-
If everyone lit just one little candle, it would be better than to glow in the dark.
That’s on my mind today. I have a Plan!
The Plan – Chez Clarissa
Another coffee??
Plan-. I want to provide a Safe Haven for my people and family who need to feel safe in today’s chaotic world. I have named it Chez Clarissa and these are the details:
Two story townhouse on a tree lined street in a gated community in an excellent neighborhood in Paris with a full staff of eight or nine saleries
(I dont know if this will work – mixing the currencies of two countries but I am going to try because I need to get started and I have people to help me with international currencies)
– care taking couple of family with child in studio upstairs and salary to be negotiated
-chef
– soo chef in studio off kitchen
Gardener
Accountant
Personal Assistant
Driver and Mercedes
Couple on call for day trips
Service fresh flowers delivery everywhere on 4 tables
Real wood real brass working fireplace Steinway piano 2 dogs Missy and Laurel and two cats Chipper and Tigger
Concierge for booking
Budget is estimated at $3 million dollars but I don’t know about the income stream after the initial purchase so that could change.
Where is the money ??
The universe will provide!..
————
Most of our life is spent chasing false goals and worshipping false ideals. The day you realise that is the day you really start to live.
You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and your loved ones second, everyone else is busy pleasing themselves anyway, trust me.
Fighting the ageing process is like trying to catch the wind. Go with it, enjoy it. Your body is changing, but it always has been.
Don’t waste time trying to reverse that, instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the newNobody is perfect and nobody is truly happy with their lot. When that sinks in you are free of comparison and free of judgement. It’s truly liberating.
It is not easy living alone anywhere after the death of a spouse when you are older and independent. Soooooo
One idea is embrace your fear
How ?
I don’t know how ! I just ask the questions……
Fear of what ?
I don’t know. Fear of change. Getting better.
A Celebrated psychoanalyst Adam Phillips discusses change and getting better.
Can people truly change? When one is alone or unhappy or unwell, is it possible to get better? Adam Phillips, the UK’s foremost literary psychoanalyst, thinks that these may not be the right questions to ask. Rather, we should consider what we mean by the terms ‘change’ and ‘get better’, and how transformation and self-betterment have been mythologized. In bestselling works On Wanting to Change and On Wanting to Get Better, Phillips encourages us to rethink the ways we talk about mental health and the lives we lead. By redefining the terms of the conversation surrounding change, we may learn to think more clearly about ourselves. Phillips will discuss the human mind and the tools we have to understand it.
One thought is…….
“The more you praise and celebrate your own life, the more in life there will be to celebrate”.
~Life in itself is a gift.
Start there … you were given life …
Celebrate the breath in your lungs
Praise the beauty your eyes can see
Enjoy the sound of beautiful music, nature and children’s laughter your ears can hear …
Put your hands on your heart and feel it beat and know, where there’s life there can be joy!
Some may feel their life doesn’t have much to rejoice about, and maybe on the surface it’s true.
And maybe you’re going through a very rough time and your very heart is broken …
Don’t let hardship kill the beauty residing in your soul. Allow yourself to be lifted up, higher day by day choosing to still rejoice the life within you … ️️
Life disappoints you so you stop living from illusions and see reality.
Life destroys everything superfluous, until only the important remains
Life does not leave you in peace, so you stop fighting, and accept everything as it is?
Life takes what you have, until you stop complaining and learn gratitude
Life sends you troubled people so that you can heal and stop projecting what you have inside.
Life lets you fall again and again, until you decide to learn the lesson.
Life takes you out of the way and presents you with crossroads, until you stop wanting to control and learn to flow like a river.
Life puts you enemies on the road, until you stop “reacting”.
Life frightens you and startles you as many times as necessary, until you lose the fear and regain faith.
Life takes away your true love, it does not grant or allow it, until you stop trying to buy it with trinkets.
Life distances you from the people you love, until you understand that we are not this body, but the soul that powers it.
Life laughs at you so many times, until you stop taking everything so seriously and laugh at yourself. Life breaks you and breaks you in as many parts as necessary for the light to penetrate.
Life confronts you with rebels, until you stop trying to control.
Life repeats the same message, even with shouts and slaps, until you finally listen.
Life sends you thunder and storms, so you wake up. Life humiliates and defeats you again and again until you decide to let the EGO die.
Life denies you goods and greatness until you stop wanting goods and greatness and you begin to serve. Life cuts your wings and prunes your roots, until you need neither wings nor roots, but only disappear in the forms and fly from the Self.
Life denies you miracles, until you understand that everything is a miracle.
Life shortens your time, so you hurry to learn to live. Life ridicules you until you become nothing, until you become nobody, and so you become everything.
Life does not give you what you want, but what you need to evolve. Ugh.
Life hurts you, hurts you, torments you, until you let go of your whims and tantrums and appreciate just breathing.
Life hides treasures from you, until you start your journey, until you go out to look for them.
Life denies you God, until you see it in everyone and everything.
Life shortens you, prunes you, takes you away, breaks you, disappoints you, cracks you, … until only LOVE remains.”
Hmmm
If everyone lit just one little candle, it would be better than to glow in the Dark
——
1. Most of our lives are spent chasing false goals and worshipping false ideals. The day you realise that is the day you really start to live.
2. You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and your loved ones second, everyone else is busy pleasing themselves anyway, trust me.
3. Fighting the ageing process is like trying to catch the wind. Go with it, enjoy it. Your body is changing, but it always has been. Don’t waste time trying to reverse that, instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the new.
4. Nobody is perfect and nobody is truly happy with their lot. When that sinks in you are free of comparison and free of judgement. It’s truly liberating.
5. No one really sees what you do right, everyone sees what you do wrong. When that becomes clear to you, you will start doing things for the right reason and you will start having so much more fun.
6. You will regret the years you spent berating your looks, the sooner you can make peace with the vessel your soul lives in, the better. Your body is amazing and important but it does not define you.
7. Your health is obviously important but stress, fear and worry are far more damaging than any delicious food or drink you may deny yourself. Happiness and peace are the best medicine.
8. Who will remember you and for what, become important factors as you age. Your love and your wisdom will live on far longer than any material thing you can pass down. Tell your stories, they can travel farther than you can imagine.
9. We are not here for long but if you are living against the wind it can feel like a life-sentence. Life should not feel like a chore, it should feel like an adventure.
10. Always, always, drink the good champagne/ Cacao and use the things you keep for ‘best’. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Today is a gift that’s why we call it the present.
Eat, Drink & Be Merry. ENLARGE YOUR UNIVERSE!!!!
Just something or some things to think about.
Meanwhile, hang in there…… I will if you will… one step at a time….
I am going through a dark place now and am trying to find a way out so a bit of levity ….. besides it is Spring!
1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I’m negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.
10. If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”
19. Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.”—-source unknown.
———
Bishop Steven Charleston ~ “I have a blessing for you: may the things in your life work. After a very long experience I believe the best that can happen is for things to simply work as they are supposed to. The phone, the car, the plumbing, the house. Your eyesight, your hearing, your hands, your body. It would be great if things would just work as they are supposed to, so we can get back to what life felt like before they stopped working.”
———-
Life disappoints you so you stop living from illusions and see reality.
Life destroys everything superfluous, until only the important remains
Life does not leave you in peace, so you stop fighting, and accept everything as it is?
Life takes what you have, until you stop complaining and learn gratitude
Life sends you troubled people so that you can heal and stop projecting what you have inside.
Life lets you fall again and again, until you decide to learn the lesson.
Life takes you out of the way and presents you with crossroads, until you stop wanting to control and learn to flow like a river.
———-
Once again…..
Life disappoints you so you stop living from illusions and see reality.
Life destroys everything superfluous, until only the important remains
Life does not leave you in peace, so you stop fighting, and accept everything as it is?
Life takes what you have, until you stop complaining and learn gratitude
Life sends you troubled people so that you can heal and stop projecting what you have inside.
Life lets you fall again and again, until you decide to learn the lesson.
Life takes you out of the way and presents you with crossroads, until you stop wanting to control and learn to flow like a river.
And stop trying to push it.
————-
Hey you…
Yes, I’m talking to you.
You know you’ve been telling yourself what you can’t do, how you’re too old for this and too tired for that.
Well, you’re wrong.
I know life has been bumpy and you’ve been knocked down, but lift your head, open your eyes and get up.
Don’t you dare give up on your dreams and everything you’ve wanted.
There’s so much life and love in you that you haven’t even realized yet…
So it’s time to stop making excuses and start making plans.
I’m not telling you that it’s going to be easy, fast or painless.
I’m telling you that you can do it and that it’s worth it.
Nothing worth having ever comes easily, and your dreams and desires aren’t any different.
You’ve known what you wanted and who you’ve wanted to be for a long time..
Now it’s time to get up, dust yourself off and start moving forward.
Stop looking over your shoulder and holding onto the painful past.
Remember the lessons but let go of the pain.
It’s not doing anything but weighing you down.
You are capable of more than you know, but you’re going to have to start believing in yourself- even if it’s a little bit at a time.
One step after another, day after day…you’ll get where you’re meant to be.
Maybe it won’t be where you thought you wanted to be, but you’ll realize it’s where you need to be. Forget your age!
Learn.
Love.
Live.
Grow.
Turn the page and start a new chapter.
You are worthy of great things, beautiful love and wonderful tomorrows.
Now open your eyes and start becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.
You can’t catch your dreams if you’re standing still.
Fly, darling, fly.
You’ll soon find your wings..
And you’ll be glad you never gave up.
Anything is possible if you just believe.
|ravenwolf
———
I read a quote once: “The more you praise and celebrate your own life, the more in life there will be to celebrate”.
~Life in itself is a gift.
Start there … you were given life …
Celebrate the breath in your lungs
Praise the beauty your eyes can see
Enjoy the sound of beautiful music, nature and children’s laughter your ears can hear …
Put your hands on your heart and feel it beat and know, where there’s life there can be joy!
Some may feel their life doesn’t have much to rejoice about, and maybe on the surface it’s true.
And maybe you’re going through a very rough time and your very heart is broken …
Don’t let hardship kill the beauty residing in your soul. Allow yourself to be lifted up, higher day by day choosing to still rejoice the life within you …
I am starting over again and again and again and again….
Wellllll….
Do you know what a kaleidoscopic shift is?
Change!!!
So what are you covering up?
It is changed and you are being paid to cover it up ?
I don’t understand ?
It is changed indeed and never will be the same. Hallelujah
I am sorry. Please forgive me.’
Welcome to the NEW !!!
.____
I can’t stay, mother.
I love you, but I wasn’t born to please you
I wasn’t born to make you happy
or give your life meaning.
I wasn’t born to rot under your wings
like an unhatched egg.
I can’t stay, teacher.
I wasn’t born to be put into your boxes
to think along your lines
or to memorize your facts
I was born to think independently.
I can’t stay, my love.
I wasn’t born to satisfy your needs
to take care of you
or to hide in your arms.
I wasn’t born to make myself smaller
or to be taken for granted.
I can’t stay, boss.
I wasn’t born to make money for others
I wasn’t born to follow orders
or to repeat the same day over and over again
I wasn’t born for boredom.
I can’t stay, master.
I wasn’t born to follow your ideas of what truth is
or to live according to your dogmas.
I was born to find my own truth
and make my own rules.
I was born to meet life full on
To get lost on Indian trains
To be seduced by dangerous men
To meet different faces, places and cultures
to be out in the jungle all night
To run with wolves
To be swept off my feet
To be taken by storm
To be heartbroken
Devastated
Stunned
Shocked
Lost
Thrown into the deep
I was born to get my hands dirty
To get sand in my mouth
Mud on my clothes
Thorns under my feet
I was born to jump into the abyss.
I was born to meet aliens
To do rituals
To be cracked open in ceremony
To go beyond time and space
To welcome magic
To totally loose myself
I was born to feel everything
To taste everything
The bitter taste of sorrow
The foul taste of deceit
The sweet taste of love
I was born to learn how to handle change gracefully
I was born to know the truth
to learn how to fly
I was born to learn how to speak the language of love
How to unchain my heart
How to shed everything
How to let go of all expectations.
I was born to learn how it feels to lose everything
except what really matters.
I was born to live a life that would strip away everything that wasn’t real
that wasn’t true
that wasn’t me
I am a phoenix.
I am born to spread my wings and fly towards the sun
To burn up and turn to ashes
To fall down to earth and rise up again
When I am old
I will be proud of my scars
My wrinkles
My memories
My stories
My wisdom
My freedom.
I was born to be free.
And therefore, I can’t stay
– Sanne Burger
A thought…
There comes a time in every woman’s life when she embarks on an Underworld journey. Indeed, she will visit the Underworld more than once during the course of her lifetime. This journey may be precipitated by the loss of someone she loves, or by a life-threatening illness, or a grave disappointment in career or craft. When it happens, she feels that all is lost. She is separated from everything she holds dear. She is in shock. She despairs. She grieves.
She descends to the realm of the Old One, the Crone, the Cailleach, the Grandmother, Lady Death, Hecate, Baba Yaga, Erishkegal, La Santa de Muerte. The Old One has a thousand names.
Our Hallowmas Woman might find herself in a darkened wood, on a night when no moon lights the sky, not even a thin crescent. She sits cross-legged in the dirt at a place where three roads meet, a basket of offerings at her side. She shivers as she hears the mournful howl of a black dog, its red eyes glaring at her out of the thicket. She watches the silver-thin filament of spiderweb twist and turn in the starlight. She feels the rush of cold, quick air as a hoot owl flies overhead, flapping its enormous wings.
She waits.
She sits silently at the crossroads, knowing that the comfortable, familiar terrain of her life has crumbled away and is no more. But it is not yet clear where she will go next, or what shape her days might take.
She waits for the counsel of the Old One.
And while she waits, she reflects. She begins to dream. She sorts through her emotions. Yes! I want that. No! I don’t want that. This is the life I want. Not that. She begins to have glimmers of ideas, a dream barely caught upon waking. What was that? An image, a scent, a feeling . . . it is shapeless, taking form, then shapeless again.
Even though she is heartbroken, she begins to find comfort in this liminal space, between here and there, past and future, now and then. She is poised on the threshold between her ancestors and her descendants, the Dark Moon and the New. She begins to sense that she is broken open, and her heart expands, light streaming out through the cracks. The veils between this world and the next are thin indeed.
We see the Hallowmas Woman in the stark November landscape, with its muted tones of olive, ochre, sienna brown. We find her in a cold statue in a graveyard, garlanded with dead roses, thorns, and blood-red rosehips. We see her in fogbound mornings when there is no distinction between sea, stones, and sky, and the Otherworld is just a step away. She lives within the brief days and long nights that draw us toward withdrawal and cocooning. The Hallowmas woman rests. She withdraws into herself. It is not a time of connection. She prefers her own company, turning down invitations to gather with others. The midwinter holidays will be here soon enough.
Perhaps, if she should be so lucky, a woman will live long enough in human years to embody the Old One literally. At 70 or 80 years old, she has walked the Great Round of life/death/renewal more than once. She knows how the story ends. Age does not automatically confer wisdom (there’s no fool like an old fool) — but by 70 years old, our Hallowmas woman has learned a thing or two about her soul’s purpose. She is well aware of the legacy that she will leave behind when she crosses the threshold.
Her body may be ravaged by disease or aging. Then again, she may be as flexible and strong as her 90-year-old neighbor who practices yoga and walks a mile or two every day. Keeping the physical body supple and healthy has never been as important as it is now, with a whole Underworld to explore. The Hallowmas woman has not had her moonflow in many years, and to be honest, she doesn’t really miss it. She’s content to be on the other side of the hormonal veil, and to leave the cycle of fertility and release to younger women.
When the time of All Hallows comes to a woman’s soul, she begins to make her peace with Lady Death, and with endings of all kinds. She knows, as the Fates do, that all things must pass. She knows herself as Atropos, She Who Cuts the Thread of Life; as the Queen of Swords, who slices away negativity, confusion, and doubt; as the Blue Dakini, who severs ties. She makes choices: this, she will keep. That, she will let go.
She begins to live as if Lady Death is peeking over her shoulder. Life is stripped down to its essentials. What is really important? In the end, what really matters?
She sorts through the possessions left by her parents and grandparents, after purging and giveaways and purging again. What remains are photographs, wedding rings, a Welsh Bible, a fraying crazy quilt, a fishing hat, a cherished wooden chair…
When we suspect our time might be short, our priorities become quite simple. Finish that painting, that poem, that song; forgive him, and her, and that one too. Spend time with the ones we love; visit the edge of salt water and stones every day. While we’re there, be sure to pick up beach glass, then give it away. Sing to the Blessed Mother. Light a candle and breathe a prayer for the wild and holy earth, for the benefit of all beings. Be present to the beauty that surrounds us. Every day is a gift of grace.
The Hallowmas woman has been sitting long enough at the crossroads. The Ancient One emerges from the thicket of thorns, the black hound at her side, a green snake wrapped around her arm. She offers the woman a sliced-open pomegranate, its ruby seeds spilling out. With her inner ear, the woman hears the ritual words: ‘Take, eat: the fruit of death, which is life.’ She swallows nine pomegranate seeds, savoring the tart, bittersweet flavor on her tongue. The Crone points a bony finger toward one of three paths, and the Hallowmas woman moves on. She casts one last look over her shoulder as she leaves the Underworld, then turns to search for a first glimpse of the New Moon.
On our deathbeds, when we’ve run out of time, and no more books will be written, no more songs will be sung, and no more canvases will be painted — when that time comes, and we are poised to cross the threshold into the Great Unknown — all that matters is love. The fierce love we’ve had for the sacred earth, for our friends and family and lovers, and the love that has flowed back to us in return. Our overflowing hearts have been cracked open, mended and broken open again.
All that matters is love
Plus, I want my children to love each other after I am gone. Right now, they don’t like me or each other. Oops oops oops.
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JAYSPEAK 