JAYSPEAK

This is a collection of thoughts I have put together.  Each thought speaks to me about September – the Season of Letting Go

It is the season of letting go and free yourself of the dead weight that you have been carrying around and shed your leaves.  It is time for the new thoughts and new ideas.  Let go of doubts and fears and struggles and anxieties in the past and let it all go.  Those leaves will turn brown, and the leaves will fall off the trees.  Be reborn and renewed.  Come back in the Spring.  But now it is September. So LET GO.  BE BRAVE AND JUST DO IT!!

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My mom did not sleep. She felt exhausted. She was irritable, grumpy, and bitter. She was always sick until one day, suddenly, she changed.

One day my dad said to her:

– I’ve been looking for a job for three months and I haven’t found anything, I’m going to have a few beers with friends.

My mom replied:

– It’s okay.

My brother said to her:

– Mom, I’m doing poorly in all subjects at the University.

My mom replied:

– Okay, you will recover, and if you don’t, well, you repeat the semester, but you pay the tuition.

My sister said to her:

– Mom, I smashed the car.

My mom replied:

– Okay daughter, take it to the car shop & find how to pay and while they fix it, get around by bus or subway.

Her daughter-in-law said to her:

– Mother-in-law, I came to spend a few months with you.

My mom replied:

– Okay, settle in the living room couch and look for some blankets in the closet.

All of us gathered worried to see these reactions coming from Mom.

We suspected that she had gone to the doctor and that she was prescribed some pills called “I don’t give a damn”… Perhaps she was overdosing on these!

We then proposed to do an “intervention” w/my mother to remove her from any possible addiction she had towards some anti-tantrum medication.

But then … she gathered us around her and my mom explained:

“It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their life. It took me years to discover that my anguish, anxiety, my depression, my courage, my insomnia & my stress, does not solve your problems but aggravates mine.

I am not responsible for the actions of anyone & it’s not my job to provide happiness but I am responsible for the reactions I express to that.

Therefore, I came to the conclusion that my duty to myself is to remain calm and let each one of you solve what corresponds to you.

I have taken courses in yoga, meditation, miracles, human development, mental hygiene, vibration and neurolinguistic programming and in all of them, I found a common denominator in them all…

I can only control myself, you have all the necessary resources to solve your own problems despite how hard they may be. My job is to pray for you, love on you, encourage you but it’s up to YOU to solve them & find your happiness.

I can only give you my advice if you ask me & it depends on you to follow it or not. There are consequences, good or bad, to your decisions and YOU have to live them.

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So from now on, I cease to be the receptacle of your responsibilities, the sack of your guilt, the laundress of your remorse, the advocate of your faults, the wall of your lamentations, the depositary of your duties, who should solve your problems or spare a tire every time to fulfill your responsibilities.

From now on, I declare all independent and self-sufficient adults.

Everyone at my mom’s house was speechless.

For some of us this is hard because we’ve grown up being the caregivers feeling responsible for others. As moms & wives we are fixers off all things. We never want our loved ones to go through difficult things or to struggle. We want everyone to be happy.

From that day on, the family began to function better because everyone in the house knew exactly what it is that they needed to do.

But, the sooner we take that responsibility off of our shoulders & on to each loved one, the better we are preparing them to be MEsponsible.

We are not here on earth to be everything to 

everyone. Stop putting that pressure on yourself.

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I miss my babies very much. I love them and I did not let them know. It is time to let that go.

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Born in the 1930s and early 40s, we exist as a very special age group.

I was born in 1937 and this applies to me.  

We are the smallest group of children born since the early 1900s.

We are the last generation, climbing out of the depression, who can remember the winds of war and the impact of a world at war which rattled the structure of our daily lives for years.

We are the last to remember ration books for everything from gas to sugar to shoes to stoves.

We saved tin foil and poured fat into tin cans.

We saw cars up on blocks because tires weren’t available.

We can remember milk being delivered to our house early in the morning and placed in the “milk box” on the porch.

We are the last to see the gold stars in the front windows of our grieving neighbors whose sons died in the War.

We saw the ‘boys’ home from the war, build their little houses.

We are the last generation who spent childhood without television; instead, we imagined what we heard on the radio.

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I am not a Trump lover.  I never was.  This is not new news….  And I love myself very much and am proud of my educated and in possession of all their faculties. ”, even though I have had some brain damages and working on getting better  

I’ve been puzzled by the steadfast opinions held by supporters of Donald Trump. Some of the loyalty given him appears to come from hardened right wing gun enthusiasts, ultra conservative evangelical Christians with singular interests, admitted racists, ardent xenophobes, and unabashed misogynists. But there are other individuals who believe in him based upon what he promised in 2015-2016 and in what he might be promising in 2020, and there are those who refer to him as “the greatest President in [their] lifetime.” With all evidence to the contrary, they seem to belief that: 

    He holds the answer to putting an end to the violence in America.

    He fully understands COVID-19 and how it is and isn’t transmitted.

    He is the best Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces since the beginning of time….

    He has adhered to the Constitution and to his oath to preserve, protect, and defend it. 

    He is a victim of various hoaxes and fake news produced by “the failing everybody. 

    He inherited a broken economy that he turned into the greatest economy the world has ever seen.

The question I’ve asked myself over and over is How on earth can anyone believe any of this from a man who:

    Has suggested the use of a household disinfectant–either consumed or injected–to sure COVID-19

    Declared COVID-19 a “Democratic hoax” for more than a month

    Suggested less testing so we would have less cases

    Side-stepped condemning torchlight marchers shouting “Jews will not control us”

    Side-stepped condemning the killing of peaceful protesters via automobile and gun shot

I could go on, but what I mean to question is the how and the why of it all, given the support of people who are otherwise educated and in possession of all their faculties. 

At first I thought there were four possible reasons: 

    They fear the decreasing in value of their 401Ks if Trump is defeated

    They secretly agree with Trump’s various positions 

    They secretly are racists, misogynists, xenophobes, LGBTQ haters

    They simply don’t care what happens to anyone besides themselves

But I decided there had to be more, especially when I received a “read this and then we’ll talk” from someone. This constituted an article whose source I had never heard of, so I tracked it down. It took only one question to Siri for me to be taken to a site that evaluates publications. This particular publication was listed not only as a source of “fake news” but also as one of the hate groups identified by the Southern Poverty Law Center. But the person who sent it to me didn’t know this. This person was intelligent and well-meaning and identifies as “a patriot.” 

Which brings us to what’s called the social media algorithm. You’ve probably noticed how, if you’ve searched for something via the internet, you suddenly start receiving advert after advert featuring various sellers of this item. In my case, face masks are a good example. Early on, there were none to be had in Seattle, so I  had to go online. Now daily (I would say hourly), I receive offers from companies making face masks. This happens because our movements (clicks, searches, whatever) are followed and analyzed. So what we look at gets identified and as a result we get more of the same. 

That being the case, it’s likely that the Trump supporter is inundated with material attacking Black Lives Matter, Joe Biden. Nancy Pelosi, Kamala Harris, the DNC, Jill Biden, Hunter Biden, President Obama, Michele Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, etc. That being the case, it’s likely very little else gets through. It’s also likely that recipients of this material have their televisions tuned to Fox and listen to Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, and others like them comment on the events of a given day. 

Which brings us to what to do about this. I am open to your suggestions. I have only one: We must vote, we must urge everyone else to vote, we must donate to Democratic candidates, we must vote for Democratic candidates down the entire ballot. I think we must also do what we can to help people vote where and how we can because the effort is enormous to suppress the vote through the closing of polls, striking people from the voter registration lists, removing sorting machines from post offices, and outright gerrymandering. 

We’ve heard it over and over again: This is the election of our lifetime. I absolutely believe that this is the case. 

Please feel free to share this far and wide. I hope you do so. 

Elizabeth George

Best, Jay