All right.  I give up.  Nobody wants real. Everybody want a pipe dream.  Even I don’t to reveal what is really going on, except to the girl in the mirror.  So, I won’t try to interpret today’s post.  You decide how you want to interpret each one.  I pick the selections and I won’t try to tell you what to think.  I choose brilliant insight, but I am biased. FYI – from now on, Jayspeak will publish a post when I feel like writing or I have something to say. It’s that time.

This is what happened, so I will try to write it here.  I got personally verbally attacked on Facebook from a very angry man in a group I was in.  I did not like it and I allowed it to upset me in a very negative way.  But Pollyanna here decided that it was a wonderful thing to have happen.  A WAKE-UP CALL.  How?  And I don’t think that I am going to die yet because I am still too healthy. My brain is reprogramming and that takes time.  But I still have some time. I need to downsize my life again.


Yes, get rid of Facebook pages and get out of groups. Get rid of Apps I don’t use And, I have begun to do it. I don’t want to be a part of someone’s life who does not like me. So, I am still thinking about the best way to adapt to the NEW. The old does not work anymore. I am soo excited for the young people of tomorrow !!

Chaos is rampant in the world. Everything is changing each day. There will never be a “used to be”.  Sad?  Okay.  Take it any way you like, but that will not change it.

This day I am saying to myself – Never forget how far you’ve come. All the times you pushed on even when you felt you couldn’t. All the mornings you got out of bed no matter how hard it was. All the times you wanted to give up but fought through another day. Never forget the strength you’ve gained along the way. And each marriage was wonderful during which I learned from the experience. I loved each man and I loved that love as part of my story!

Thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking.   (Other people’s thoughts)

WARNING LIGHTS! No matter who they are, don’t expect from people what they don’t have to give. Your girlfriend might hate your wardrobe choices. You Mom eschews your choice in hair style. Your Dad thinks your career choice is frivolous.

But you chose your clothes because you liked them. Your hair style is fashionable or in some very personal way suits your idea of yourself. That you want to be a filmaker is a lifelong dream. But the people close to you cannot accord you approval or applause because you always had a good head for math and they fully expected you to become an engineer. You don’t have to worry about what others want from you. Instead try and (discreetly) penetrate inside their heads and wonder why they need you to cut your hair or wear bangles or build bridges. Because those dreams night be their own unfulfilled dreams. Being a pharmacist or a builder was their plan but it got interrupted. Now they want to pass it on to you. 

 Once we understand where others are coming from, we can go about doing what best suits us – our way. Again. Don’t not expect from others what they don’t have to give.

“I believe that we learn by practice. Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same. In each, it is the performance of a dedicated precise set of acts, physical or intellectual, from which comes shape of achievement, a sense of one’s being, a satisfaction of spirit. One becomes, in some area, an athlete of God. Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.”—Martha Graham

“Desire is always the victor. Your desires will determine where the eyes, the limbs, the heart will go and what will be found wherever you happen to go. This is not tragic: This is your destiny. This is your truth.

“Desires are not tragic for the most part, but the application of them frequently is. I am talking about distillation, and what I can only call the purification of desire. I am fairly sure that what a person is seeking is beauty or peace or clarification. An answer, really, to so many things. We do so many complex things–are required to do so many complex things–to achieve those simple things that make us happy, and that also make us artists.

“Don’t be afraid of your desires. Identify them and own them and work well toward expressing them toward others. Desire is not to be confused with obsession or anything unhealthy. Desire is one of the things that makes us human.

“And all artists are–at their core–profoundly human, almost abnormally human, because they embrace the beauty of our human spirit so firmly.”

          –Martha Graham/Interview with James Grissom/1989

Don’t walk the same road. You’re not going there. 

“Oh ye’ll take the high road and I’ll take the low road and I’ll be in Scotland before ye lock limande

You’ll take the high road and I’ll take the low road,
And I’ll be in Scotland afore ye.
Where me and my true love will never meet again,
On the Bonnie, Bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

You’ll take the high road and I’ll take the low road,
And I’ll be in Scotland a’fore you.
Where me and my true love will never meet again,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

You’ll take the high road and I’ll take the low road,
And I’ll be in Scotland afore you.
Where me and my true love will never meet again,
On the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

You’ll take the high road and I’ll take the low road,
And I’ll be in Scotland afore you.
Where me and my true love will never meet again,
On the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes
Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond’
Where me and my true love will never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o’ Loch Lomond

On the bonnie, bonnie banks o’ Loch Lomond

The wee birdies sing and the wild flow’rs spring
And in sunshine the waters are sleepin’
But the broken heart it kens nae second spring again
Tho’ the waefu’ may cease frae their greetin’on’






HEY!!!  It is the fourth of July!  In the USA.  It is the fourth of July in France, but it is not the same  And change is in the air. I just feel like writing. And here is what is on my mind. Some days I am really afraid. But, I have discovered that I am afraid of living, not dying. It takes courage to live. We are all going to die. And 85 in a country where I am not great at the language……

Regarding my last post, I have discovered that some of my friends prefer the façade, and some prefer real. OK. I get it! I got it. Really? Good. It is not fair to attack me on my own blog . Just know that I KNOW what is real and what is not. And you know that I know. So, I don’t think that any huffing or puffing is in your best interests. Or posing for the camera. I prefer real. But, I am used to reality checks, so I am trying to easily adapt to change. And none of this is funny.

I was born in 1937. This is true. I remember as if it were yesterday. 

Born in the 1930s and early 40s, we exist as a very special age group.

We are the smallest group of children born since the early 1900s.

We are the last generation, climbing out of the depression, who can remember the winds of war and the impact of a world at war which rattled the structure of our daily lives for years.

We are the last to remember ration books for everything from gas to sugar to shoes to stoves.

We saved tin foil and poured fat into tin cans.

We saw cars up on blocks because tires weren’t available.

We can remember milk being delivered to our house early in the morning and placed in the “milk box” on the porch.

We are the last to see the gold stars in the front windows of our grieving neighbors whose sons died in the War.

We saw the ‘boys’ home from the war, build their little houses.

We are the last generation who spent childhood without television; instead, we imagined what we heard on the radio.

As we all like to brag, with no TV, we spent our childhood “playing outside”.

There was no little league.

There was no city playground for kids.

The lack of television in our early years meant, for most of us, that we had little real understanding of what the world was like.

On Saturday afternoons, the movies, gave us newsreels sandwiched in between westerns and cartoons.

Telephones were one to a house, often shared (party Lines)and hung on the wall in the kitchen (no cares about privacy).

Computers were called calculators, they were hand cranked; typewriters were driven by pounding fingers, throwing the carriage, and changing the ribbon.

The ‘INTERNET’ and ‘GOOGLE’ were words that did not exist.

Newspapers and magazines were written for adults and the news was broadcast on our radio in the evening by Gabriel Heatter and later Paul Harvey.

As we grew up, the country was exploding with growth.

The G.I. Bill gave returning veterans the means to get an education and spurred colleges to grow.

VA loans fanned a housing boom.

Pent up demand coupled with new installment payment plans opened many factories for work.

New highways would bring jobs and mobility.

The veterans joined civic clubs and became active in politics.

The radio network expanded from 3 stations to thousands.

Our parents were suddenly free from the confines of the depression and the war, and they threw themselves into exploring opportunities they had never imagined.

We weren’t neglected, but we weren’t today’s all-consuming family focus.

They were glad we played by ourselves until the street lights came on.

They were busy discovering the post war world.

We entered a world of overflowing plenty and opportunity; a world where we were welcomed, enjoyed ourselves and felt secure in our future. Although depression poverty was deeply remembered.

Polio was still a crippler.

We came of age in the 50s and 60s.

The Korean War was a dark passage in the early 50s and by mid-decade school children were ducking under desks for Air-Raid training.

Russia built the “Iron Curtain” and  China became Red China .

Eisenhower sent the first ‘Army Advisers’ to Vietnam.

Castro took over in Cuba and Khrushchev came to power.

We are the last generation to experience an interlude when there were no threats to our homeland. The war was over and the cold war, terrorism, “global warming”, and perpetual economic insecurity had yet to haunt life with unease.

Only our generation can remember both a time of great war, and a time when our world was secure and full of bright promise and plenty. lived through both.

We grew up at the best possible time, a time when the world was getting better. not worse.

We are “The Last”

More than 99 % of us are either retired or are deceased, and we feel privileged to have “lived in the best of times”!

I learned very early in life that there is no alternative to optimism, to having visions for the future, believing in goals and achieving them. So nothing matters more than building a better world one day at a time, with the skills I have, for my family, my friends and the community.  And facades just get in the way.

Besides, this theory makes sense to me. 

THE CHRYSALLIS EFFECT  – “Some days it looks like the patriarchy is winning. Consider the opposite. The great sociologist Philip Slater: We’re witnessing the death throes of male-domination. “Strutting, boasting, fighting, destroying, and killing just don’t seem as important to the world as they used to”. The males of today’s world are losing their dominance. They don’t have the right tools anymore. Watch them. The Trumps, The Putins, The Kim Jong-uns etc… They are still trying to rule with the old “iron hand”. Winning wars is useless in today’s world. Boasting and the pounding of chests looks silly. Forbidding abortion is futile. Male dominance is over. We are watching old-fashioned men squirm and fight as they lose their power over women and the future. We are in the transition phase of this inevitable development and it’s causing the old guard to desperately try to maintain dominion.”- Jesse Kornbluth (Headbutler.com)

Louise Hay – Your Words and Thoughts Create Your Future

What stories do we tell ourselves and what meaning do we give to our experiences?

Does this meaning bring us happiness, joy, or just unnecessary stress and anxiety?

I just recently heard a story of John Dorenbos and it blew my mind.

His mom passed away and she left him a necklace and as you can imagine it was very dear to him.

One day he went swimming in the ocean and lost it. At first, he was obviously upset, standing on the same beach he looked around and he saw all those people and none of them cared about his sad moment.

But then he realized that the meaning that he is giving to this experience will not serve him.

And he created a new story! He knew that his mom loved traveling so he imagined how the necklace fell on a dolphin`s back and the gorgeous aquatic creature took it with him to California, Hawaii, and all the beautiful places Jon`s mom always wanted to go to. John told himself that this is the only reason why he “lost” the necklace because that`s what his mom wanted.

So by creating this beautiful new story he basically refused to believe the sad one.

Instead now every time he thinks about the neckless he feels joy, happiness, peace, and harmony.

Just because he realized that this sad story won`t serve him, you know what I mean?

How incredible that we have the power of creating our own story with the meaning that will serve us.

So please choose your story wisely…

“I asked an elderly man once what it was like to be old and to know the majority of his life was behind him. He told me that he has been the same age his entire life. He said the voice inside of his head had never aged. He has always just been the same boy. His mother’s son. He had always wondered when he would grow up and be an old man. He said he watched his body age and his faculties dull but the person he is inside never got tired. Never aged. Never changed.

Our spirits are eternal. Our souls are forever. The next time you encounter an elderly person, look at them and know they are still a child, just as you are still a child and children will always need love, attention and purpose.”

~ Author unknown

Best, JAY




I felt like writing this morning.

Facades fascinate me.  I grew up in a house filled with pretence secrets galore. Doesn’t everyone ?   I wanted people to be real. But alas and alack nobody was or even wanted to be. So I decided to go on a mission to get real. At least with my friends.  Oops, I did not make friends and I did not influence people. Thanks, Dale Carnegie! 

And a woman I loved very much for years was living in a beautiful big house in a posh neighborhood in Los Angeles and everything was broken inside. I tried to make her real and wanted to know why everything was broken. I fAILED MISERABLY. It did not work. And Daddy tried to tell me that I did not get it. People need their dreams and their illusions and the grass was not greener on the other side of the fence. Besides , she doesn’t care that things are broken because she doesn’t want to fix them. She does not use them . Why did I need her to fix them. I wanted to use them but I did not live there. Hmmm

I still have my problems with people pretending to be who they are not. The SELL.  Or saying one thing and doing another BUT that is my problem, not theirs.

So , you get to choose who you want to be – real or façade?  I have been both during my lifetime. But I like real better than pretentious . Usually in a group, there are one or two real people but not many. So I have to pick and choose . And get picked and chosen. And the one with money is like a magnet and gets chosen every time . I got chosen when I had money.  Ugh.  

I have been rich and I have been poor relatively and I prefer rich. They call the shots and have power. But become mean in the process so the trick is to get rich and stay humble . But I don’t like a pretend with a façade – like the wizard of oz. But nobody cares what I like. I care. I matter.

Why do I care ?  Let it go.  Who cares? What does it matter ??  Okay I can now overthink that . 

Just love them for whoever they are . Love the facades. Let it go. Ugh. Can I change at this late date? Okay I will try.

Best, Jay


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I am worn out.  I have overthought everything and I am exhausted. Are you, too?   SO, I am sharing with you my latest realization that is going doinnnng In my head.  I have prided myself and written about my trust issues throughout y life while blaming my mother because she took away my blanket. I wanted it beside me forever. She did this to get me to quit sucking my thumb.  As a result of her meanness , I have never trusted anyone ever. 


I have trusted everything and everyone, no matter what they told me.  Oops. Going through life “blissfully naive”. I will spare you the gory details .  BIG Oops. AND, I have married the same man over and over! In addition, I tried to get reality checks to people who need to believe that dead bird is still alive and was going to rise from the ashes.  I wanted them to realize that the bird was DEAD. Oops . 

Okay I forgive myself – Janet – because I really love me and that is that!!

So let’s enjoy some commentary and I am make NO COMMENT. Anyway, what I think does not matter. It is what you think because all of this matters…….to me.

Best, Jay





Hello Viêt Nam !

Pollyanna over here.

I am still alive even though week before last week , I fell off my horse – big time. And last week, I spent getting back up on my horse to start riding again.

Tomorrow is the Summer Solstice new year. I am still alive in PARIS, FRANCE. What happened?

I thought I was dying. So I called for an ambulance to take me to the hospital .


I spent 5-6 hours at the emergency center at a big hospital in the 15 arrondissement in Paris, France ! And I am still alive and did not die, wonder of wonders. I was convinced that Death was eminent and I was not going to be able to get help. I saw a lump in my left leg. I did not know that It was part of my muscle. 

SO, I did not die and I got help and I now know that I don’t have any problems other than my brain strokes – which are not fun, let me tell you !  I don’t recommend getting any if you can avoid it .  And my fear problems – which my mother patiently taught me during my early years,  

When I saw a lump in my left leg, I was convinced I was going to have a massive stroke like Daddy !  I went into emergency fight-or-flight mode. My blood pressure shot up to 202. (not good) I called emergency SOS and they wanted me to speak French and provide an account number. I called someone to help me get an ambulance and was frantic.

Bottom line – I got an ambulance and checked into the emergency center and was put in the hallway to wait for the doctor . But I did not know how long I would wait, 

5-6 hours. I was told I could not leave my bed. Oops. I could not walk to the bathroom because I did not have my cane .

Okay, I will cut to the chase. I waited for several hours in the hallway, Then, I got up and walked down the hall to the bathroom, defying the nurses.  I would show them !!  And I saw the doctor who confirmed I was not dying and called me a taxi to take me home! 

No one was watching world news . Lots of hurt people and no one cared about the news, I walked out of there and knew Tom Cruise and I were in there fighting to do our own stunts! I would get back up on that goddamn horse bareback with lady Gaga singing in the background. 

Now, I don’t feel so good and I don’t know what has happened to me . I am different.  I am changed. I must rest and practice my French because I am going to live to see other days . Thanks be to the Infinite Intelligence.

So I plan to get back up on my horse and count my blessings and fasten my seatbelt.  I am happy because It is going to be a bumpy ride . 

Best, Jay





I WENT TO GET SOMETHING I wanted for a reason of some sort. IT IS NOT THERE!!!!  IT SHOULD BE!!  Then, I remembered – I threw that away in Purge 11!  Oops. 

Explanation – I like to throw things away. I collected things for my first 4 decades. And after that, I began purging. And since MAY 1983, when I moved from a big house in Pacific Palisades, California, to an apartment in Beverly Hills, I have been purging – 11 times, I think – ever since. And now, most things -`stuff’ – are memories. It was my own way of “letting go”. In Purge 11, I threw away Journals and various writings of mine of past experiences that were painful and I was planning to move to a small apartment in Nice. But I am staying in Paris. And now, I don’t have them. Oops. So, I cannot “refresh my recollection.” I must remember when I can think.

SO, Now, everything is new.  Each day is new.  And, I still have a lot. What I need.  MORE than I can use.  And now for the Weekend Funnies.  Enjoy. It is not easy being me. ……. But interesting…….





Some days I am 100 percent in the USA . This week I was in Texas. I don’t like Texas. Never did. I have to remind myself that I live in Paris. Not glamorous like it sounds but alive still waking up in the mornings. I AM YOUNG AT HEART and have brain strokes and memories of my life and loves that are very selective. . And I am loving myself anyway and I now understand why my children have problems with me. And saying that I am sorry doesn’t do it. How could it? Okay, I don’t like what I did, but Life is giving me another chance. Good. At least today.

(The sound of one hand clapping)

No response?  Non-response is a powerful response and when people tell who they are – believe them.  I WANT TO wipe my slate clean.  And the butterfly goes into action OVER AND OVER AND OVER……

Chaos theory is sometimes known as ‘the butterfly effect,’ a term coined in an attempt to explain how small actions in a dynamic system like the atmosphere could trigger vast and unexpected changes. Edward Norton Lorenz, born in West Hartford, Connecticut, in 1917. He started out as a mathematician but turned to meteorology during World War II. In an attempt to explain why it’s so difficult to make a long-range weather forecast, he spawned chaos theory, one of the 20th century’s most revolutionary scientific ideas. He discovered the effect in the early 1960s while entering values into a computer weather prediction program; instead of entering the number to the full six decimal places, he rounded it to three to save time, and the resulting weather pattern was completely different. He first framed it as the effect a seagull’s wing has on the formation of a hurricane, but he changed it to the more poetic butterfly in his 1972 presentation, ‘Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas?’ Though the term dates back to 1972, the concept actually predates Lorenz’s discovery. Science fiction writers had been playing around with the idea for several years in their time-travel stories: Usually the hero goes back in time and makes some seemingly insignificant choice that ends up changing the course of history.”

Does it matter that my story is different from yours and your facts are different from mine but I thought of myself FIRST and it took money TO DO WHAT I WANTED TO DO, so I kept it and used it on private schools and trips for all of us AND – EXPENSES. Besides, I did not trust them. i am learning how to love. Is it too late?

Afraid ? Me. Too. So, refocus your energy and find that damn pony asap. BE THAT RENAISSANCE WOMAN. WHAT????? Or man?

Definition of Renaissance woman: a woman who is interested in and knows a lot about many things.

My grandchildren will probably see me as an old crone, if at all. Actually, they don’t acknowledge my existence. A woman who lives in another country and who may or may not still be alive. They will not know how I strived. They will not know of my grinding and will only see a few mere fruits of my earlier days’ work: – my books, my journals. Or nothing. Is it OKAY that they don’t know of much of my striving? Does any of this matter to anyone else?

And does it matter if it doesn’t matter?

Wellllll. I DO exist! I matter to me! I am in France. I don’t live in the USA. And, at any age, I look for ponies. I have ALWAYS done that . And money is front and center – STILL. So, I am looking for a pony because that butterfly is working overtime. I AM WORKING ON ‘”LOVE”

SO, this is my Plan. 

I want a big house on a tree-lined street in an excellent neighborhood in Paris or Brittany or Normandy– WITH A STAFF. A car with a driver; a chef and a cook; a caretaking couple; a garden with a gardener; a working fireplace; 2 dogs named Missy and Laurel and 2 cats names Tigger and Chipper. Fresh flowers on all tables and real wood and real brass. A Steinway pian in excellent shape; and guest rooms for friends and family.

You are trailing a beautiful pathway through this life.

An invisible, star-bright network of you.

All the times you touch the hearts of others –

are stars on that trail.

Every time you smile, 

give advice, 

show kindness –


all of them.

Your twinkly star-bright galaxy of you,

is growing every day,

reaching places that you have not even been to. 

But your energy has. 

In your words or your actions.

You’re snaking a shimmering path full of love, joy sincerity, kindness, companionship, loyalty and you-ness.

All over the place.

And you don’t even see it.

If you could, 

you would be mesmerised,

Sometimes, you want something to work out so badly, but remember ‘ you CAN NOT fit a square peg into a round hole’, so you just have to LET GO 🎈& MOVE ON to better things that ARE GOOD FOR YOU!! ( For Your Highest Good!!) … So EMBRACE THE NEW & give thanks for the LESSON you have been taught and also the BLESSINGS it has also brought you, such as Inner Change & Growth! No experience is ever wasted, it serves a PURPOSE and you will ALWAYS find a HIDDEN GEM 💎 within it!! 🙏🥰♥️✨🎈🕊☯️
NB. ANYTHING AT ALL IS POSSIBLE WITH The infinite intelligence.!🙏🕊💖💡☯️😇✨🦋⭐️🌈💎





This will be a creative endeavor attempt on this cool day in Paris. I want to share cartoons with you, but I want to write a paragraph about something that I have been thinking about.

As I have said many times on Jayspeak, I don’t like lies of any kind. Wellllllll. Maybe one or two here and there. But, I am known for being brutally frank – too frank – especially with facades and pretenses of any kind. Do you know someone who pretends to be something that they are NOT!. And you know the truth and they know you know the truth and yet they expect you to keep the secret. Oops. I do. I HATE THAT!!!! I am thinking about one person in particular. And when I called her out, she wrote me off as a friend not to be trusted. And, that really hurt me because she knew that I knew the truth. So, in these bizarre and mean-spirited times and with the threat of nuclear war and my fear of Covid and whatever, I am trying to let go. You see, we all look like we’re kinda nailing it, from the outside in. We all look ‘together’ sometimes. Catch us on the right day and hey, we look like we have it all. Because guess what, we learned to look that way a long time ago. We learned to hide our struggles behind a smile and whack on that mask every day. And actually, we are doing each other a favour when we show up at all and don’t die as an easy way out of this chaos,

Sunday funnies go digital. Mere Footprints in the sand.


P. S.


What if you didn’t wake up tomorrow and your soul is watching down thinking of all the things you didn’t get to do yet because you were too scared, or too fat, or too worried about money. And all the things you told yourself you weren’t good enough for, swam in front of your eyes, fighting for a place in the line, beside the words you didn’t say and the joy you forget to have.

My friend, there is absolutely no room for anything in your day, other than acceptance. You will never have enough money, or time, and you will certainly never have that perfect body the world told you you need to be happy.

And before you say it’s too late to embrace this thing we call life, no it is not. You can do it right where you are. Right this minute. Get outside, breathe, look at the trees, put your bare feet on the grass – hand on your heart to feel that pulse – and that’s it.

You’re living.

Keep that up.

Wait up for the moon sometimes or get up early to see a sunrise, just because you can.
Jump in the lake. Run, skip.
The things you need to feel alive are free and all around my friend.
You just have to see them.

Let in opportunity and say yes to the invitations that scare you a little, in a good way.
Say no to some of the things you force yourself to do, knowing they rinse you of your peace.

Life was never supposed to be a waiting room, it was supposed to be a hillside, with paths leading in every direction and mountains as far as the eye can see, hiding adventures and new friends behind them.

Don’t let yourself get to the end of this ride without having stopped to smell those beautiful roses.
That’s the only thing you need to fear in this life.
Everything else is all part of it.
It’s all just a messy, complicated, beautiful and terrifying part of it.

Chin up, throw your arms wide open
and let it be so.

Donna Ashworth

life #friends #inspire #words #poetry

This idea makes me happy ~

 “the Great Society” and laid out the vision of a country that did not confine itself to making money, but rather used its post–World War II prosperity to “enrich and elevate our national life.” That Great Society would demand an end to poverty and racial injustice. 

But it would do more than that, he promised: it would enable every child to learn and grow, and it would create a society where people would use their leisure time to build and reflect, where cities would not just answer physical needs and the demands of commerce, but would also serve “the desire for beauty and the hunger for community.” It would protect the natural world and would be “a place where men are more concerned with the quality of their goals than the quantity of their goods.” 

“But most of all,” he said, it would look forward. “[T]the Great Society is not a safe harbor, a resting place, a final objective, a finished work. It is a challenge constantly renewed, beckoning us toward a destiny where the meaning of our lives matches the marvelous products of our labor.”

I am game. Are you ?



Our miracle boy is 12!

Believing for Ben

Grandson Ben celebrated his 12th birthday this week, and I was so glad I was able to make the trip last weekend to watch him play in a soccer match and to celebrate early with him.

Ben does not remember anything at all about his health problems as a young child. When he was only 3, he was diagnosed with an arteriovenous fistula (a vascular abnormality) in his brain. It was a life-threatening condition, and he had two brain surgeries at the age of 4 and another surgery the following year, all done by the world-renowned New York doctor, Dr. Alex Berenstein, who developed the procedure for repairing AV fistulas in children. Ben was declared cured and has grown into a fine young man who excels academically, plays sports, and volunteers in his community.

This Spring he chose to play soccer rather than baseball, and I was able to watch…

View original post 109 more words


It is Friday the 13th – a Lucky Day for me!!!! For all of us. Plus it is Ben Holloway’s birthday. He is a miracle baby. And continues performing miracles day by day. And Katie and Joshua’s baby and Debby’s grand baby. And my sister Patricia’s great grandbaby. And my parents’ great, great grandbaby…… ad infinitum……..

Today, I awakened to an active mind going bonkers with ideas of things that are possibilities that I could do when I want to.  A River of Possibilities flowing in my direction – DON’T PUSH THE RIVER!  IT FLOWS BY ITSELF!!!!

I have been trying to decide what brings me joy……  Hmmmmmmm. (pondering)

This is another thought that is on my mind this morning – all my inspirations instruct me to love myself more and to be good to myself.  And right behind that thought is the thought that it is not all about ME, ME, ME.   Yes, it is.  OOPS. 

So today, I am going to ponder.  And I have gathered some memes to help me and my guests (you) to ponder.  So, pondering without comment…



HELP, please



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