June 7, 2023

I am astounded by the incompetence of the nurses on this floor of this hospital and I have stopped expecting them to help the patients 

Breakfast was thrown at me and pills left on my tray. I had no help getting to the toilet and cleaning 

I went to kini and complained about everything. And it is only 11 o clock. And a nurse just changed my bed linens and I already done Duo

I want to go home 

Ugh 

Somehow I have made it through this day and I will get through tomorrow.But I don’t know how I will ever get back home again. 

I dread tonight and sleeping in my pee.

I want to go home.

The bed is comfortable and the bedroom is private and the food is good-,, but I don’t trust anyone here to help me .

I want to go home.

I think I will be fine at home but I need to try and get my apartment in order . 

As I sit and think about my life-

Where I’ve been, what I’ve done..even the challenges I’ve faced-

Something stands out at me every time.

There were many times that I’ve wanted something so badly…

Whether it was a new job, a potential love, even the small things, too,

I always ended up finding my way to something better than what I set out to get.

At the time, all I could focus on was that I was disappointed and discouraged about not getting what I wanted…

But now that time has passed,

I realize that everything happens for a reason..

And it’s always because I deserved better.

A better love story, a higher quality job, even a more appealing future.

Every door that closed led me to the door I was always meant to enter.

Truthfully, I couldn’t be more thankful for the broken hearts that taught me and strengthened me, dead ends that opened my eyes and setbacks that turned into comebacks.

I couldn’t see it at the time, but everything happens the way it is meant to..

And that’s not comforting when you’re hurting.

But the older I’ve gotten and the more stuff that I’ve been through, I realize that the bigger picture of my life isn’t something I’ll always see when I’m in the middle of a struggle.

I have to hold onto the fact that I deserve the best out of life and I’m never going to settle for less.

So, as I sit back and take a sip of my drink, I can’t help but smile just a little.

Every broken road has led me right to where I’m meant to be..

And I’m going to make the most out of every opportunity, each day and all the dreams I have for myself…

I’m worth that…and so much more

———

Doing the work consciously and opening our minds and hearts to love and compassion is what heals. 

Making the unconscious, conscious and allowing the flow of our emotions, thoughts and sensations is what heals. 

Breathing through the need to understand and allowing the body’s consciousness to awaken and guide us back to earth, is what heals. 

Accepting all versions of ourselves from the space of unconditional love, grace and forgiveness is what heals. 

Allowing the answers to flow and letting go of our own need to control time, relationships and space is what heals. 

When we show up every day with a fresh breath of faith and appreciation for a conscious and healthy soul and body presence in harmony with our Divine Essence, our Truth, God and Creation, we are healing, we are grounded and we allow ourselves to evolve and enlighten the path for others. 

Healing needs Acceptance, Love and Accountability. 

Healing is the consistent Question: What is this Situation trying to teach me? 

Healing needs us to walk the talk. 

Healing is the Mental Approach: Yes, I Can. 

Healing is the Journey: Thank You. 

Sending love to you from Paris.

Best, Jay