INTERLUDES – A MOMENT IN TIME – “just for fun”

For years, I have watched British mysteries and legal dramas for fun. I like them. I still do. I am currently spending time watch David Suchet as “Poirot” in Agatha Christie mysteries. And often, there will be an episode – here and there – surrounding Bees. So, when I saw this piece, I saved it to share with you. It is a “just for fun” moment in time.

“There was a time when almost every rural British family who kept bees followed a strange tradition. Whenever there was a death in the family, someone had to go out to the hives and tell the bees of the terrible loss that had befallen the family. Failing to do so often resulted in further losses such as the bees leaving the hive, or not producing enough honey or even dying. Traditionally, the bees were kept abreast of not only deaths but all important family matters including births, marriages, and long absence due to journeys. If the bees were not told, all sorts of calamities were thought to happen. This peculiar custom is known as “telling the bees”.The practice of telling the bees may have its origins in Celtic mythology that held that bees were the link between our world and the spirit world. So if you had any message that you wished to pass to someone who was dead, all you had to do was tell the bees and they would pass along the message.The typical way to tell the bees was for the head of the household, or “goodwife of the house” to go out to the hives, knock gently to get the attention of the bees, and then softly murmur in a doleful tune the solemn news. Little rhymes developed over the centuries specific to a particular region. In Nottinghamshire, the wife of the dead was heard singing quietly in front of the hive, “The master’s dead, but don’t you go; Your mistress will be a good mistress to you.” In Germany, a similar couplet was heard,“Little bee, our lord is dead; Leave me not in my distress”.But the relationship between bees and humans goes beyond superstition. It’s a fact, that bees help humans survive. 70 of the top 100 crop species that feed 90% of the human population rely on bees for pollination. Without them, these plants would cease to exist and with it all animals that eat those plants. This can have a cascading effect that would ripple catastrophically up the food chain. Losing a beehive is much worse than losing a supply of honey. The consequences are life threatening. The act of telling the bees emphasizes this deep connection humans share with the insect.” – Robin Clark

“Art: The Bee Friend, a painting by Hans Thoma (1839–1924)” – a German painter I like.

Best, Jay

A Photo a Week Challenge: In Memoriam

This post is written by my sister’s daughter (my niece) Deb Kroll. This is written about my grandmother (Mama Dorough) and grandfather (Papa Dorough). Enjoy. I have never seen Ty Cobb’s grave, but I went with Mother to see Mama Dorough’s grave in Royston. Wonderful family memories.

Unexpected in common hours

From my archives, a photo of the tomb of one of America’s most renowned baseball players, Ty Cobb (1886-1961), taken at Rose Hill Cemetery in the little town of Royston, Georgia.

And under a nearby tree, the headstone of my great grandmother, Lillie Westmoreland Dorough. Growing up in Royston, she knew Ty Cobb and often spoke of playing “sand lot” baseball with him when they were young. I knew her well. When she died she was just shy of 112 years old and at that time was one of the oldest people in the world.

My great grandfather T. Glenn Dorough, also buried nearby, was one of the prosecuting attorneys when Ty Cobb’s mother was tried for the murder of her husband. Mrs. Cobb was found not guilty, as she successfully convinced the jury that she thought her husband was an intruder when she shot him late one rainy night.

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NO COMMENT! Dedicated to Missy RIP

Missy died last night while I was asleep. I awoke during the middle of the night to find her dead. It was a terrible experience. She was probably sick at the time I bought her. Who knew? We had five wonderful years together. We were bonded – at least I was – from the beginning. She helped me get through difficult years after the sudden death of Steve. Maybe it is a sign that I have moved on. Just know that I will miss her, but I don’t think I should get another pet. So, as you can understand, I am not having a good day today. This post is dedicated to her.

I will save my planned topic for today – “The Destination is the Journey” as well as “The Meanness Behind Conspiracy Theories”, and I will do some more “No-Comment Commentaries”. They are fun and easy. Plus, I am adding some favorite photographs from posts of others that I like. Photographers unknown. I hope they don’t mind. If so, let me know and I will delete them. Here goes! No Comment!!

Best, Jay

P.S. If any of you watched “Emilie in Paris”, just know that “Jay in Paris” is not quite the same – far more challenging than when you are young and zippy! But, when Paris is back up and running, watch out! Stay tuned…..

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RE-FOCUS! IT IS IMPORTANT

Get a cup of coffee. I may go on for a while. I am now sure exactly where to begin. I am sitting here in my apartment, once again “in lockdown”. My vision is blurry, off and on. Today is the birthday of my good friend Andrea. If I were in Nice, I would try to do something special for her birthday, but restaurants are closed, except for delivery or take-away. I would find a way.

A couple of problems, I don’t have a good doctor. And, my health is not good. But I don’t want to sit here and have a pity party for myself. Yet, if I don’t do it, there is no one to warn me, watch me, or tell me what to do. I am really on my own. The virus is bad outside. France is on alert – terrorist attacks and deaths from the virus. So, I must find a way to weather this storm. How? What are my options? Well, I am not in the mood to die. But I will admit I am very discouraged. And I am a member of several groups on Facebook, and so are a LOT of people. So, if I were to give myself a pep talk, what would I say?

Refocus! Find something to wrap your mind around. What? I don’t know. Think! I saved this post from last night because it spoke to me.

“My grandmother once gave me a tip:

In difficult times, you move forward in small steps.

Do what you have to do, but little by little.

Don’t think about the future, or what may happen tomorrow.

Wash the dishes.

Remove the dust.

Write a letter.

Make a soup.

You see?

You are advancing step by step.

Take a step and stop.

Rest a little.

Praise yourself.

Take another step.

Then another.

You won’t notice, but your steps will grow more and more.

And the time will come when you can think about the future without crying.”

– Elena Mikhalkova

So, for now, I will putter around the apartment. Wash a load of clothes. Write an email. Thaw some fish. Post some thoughts of my own. Post some thoughts of others.

Here are some other interesting thoughts of others.

Legendary Paris bookshop Shakespeare and Company begs for help in pandemic

The landmark store has seen sales fall 80% since March, and with a new lockdown expected has asked for orders from those who can afford it

‘We are struggling, trying to see a way forward’ … Shakespeare and Company.

One of the world’s most iconic bookshops, Shakespeare and Company, has appealed to its customers for help as it is struggling, with sales that are down almost 80% since March.

The celebrated Parisian bookstore told readers on Wednesday that it was facing “hard times” as the Covid-19 pandemic keeps customers away. France is expected to impose a new four-week national lockdown as coronavirus cases continue to surge; large swathes of the country, including Paris, are already under a night-time curfew.

“Like many independent businesses, we are struggling, trying to see a way forward during this time when we’ve been operating at a loss,” said the shop in an email to customers, adding that it would be “especially grateful for new website orders from those of you with the means and interest to do so”.

Photograph: Eamonn McCabe/The Guardian

First opened by Sylvia Beach in 1919, the Parisian institution was frequented by writers including F Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, TS Eliot and James Joyce in the early 20th century. George Whitman opened today’s version of the shop in 1951, with James Baldwin, Lawrence Durrell, Allen Ginsberg and Anaïs Nin among its later visitors. Whitman envisaged the shop as a “socialist utopia masquerading as a bookstore”: writers are invited to sleep for free among the shelves in exchange for a few hours helping out, and more than 30,000 of the guests, named “tumbleweeds” by Whitman, have stayed since the store opened.

“We’re not closing our doors, but we’ve gone through all of our savings,” Whitman’s daughter, Sylvia Whitman, told the Guardian. “We are 80% down since the beginning of the first wave. We’ve now gone through all of the bookshop savings, which we were lucky to build up, and we have also been making use of the support from the government, and especially the furlough scheme. But it doesn’t cover everything, and we’ve delayed quite a lot of rent that we have.”

The store was closed for two months during France’s first lockdown, and did not sell books online over that period on advice from trade body the Syndicat de la librairie française. Whitman and staff are now waiting for the latest ruling from the French government, expected on Wednesday, and are preparing for a second closure.

“Right now our cafe and bookshop is open, but it’s looking like we will have to close both because bookshops are considered non-essential,” Whitman said. “The one big difference is that we’re adamant this time we’re going to be ready to keep the website open.”

Stay tuned.

Best, Jay

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NON-COMMENTARY COMMENTARY!

NO COMMENT!

MY heart is very full this weekend. So, my weekend post is full of sayings, pictures, and memes that speak to me without comment from me. I have done several of these from Nice after Steve’s death and the election of 2016. And, now, here is my first one from Paris without comment from me. My thanks to the original posters on social media.

“Don’t prioritise your looks my friend, they won’t last the journey.Your sense of humour though, will only get better.Your intuition will grow and expand like a majestic cloak of wisdom.Your ability to choose your battles, will be fine-tuned to perfection.Your capacity for stillness, for living in the moment, will blossom.And your desire to live each and every moment will transcend all other wants.Your instinct for knowing what (and who) is worth your time, will grow and flourish like ivy on a castle wall. Don’t prioritise your looks my friend, they will change forevermore, that pursuit is one of much sadness and disappointment. Prioritise the uniqueness that make you you, and the invisible magnet that draws in other like-minded souls to dance in your orbit.These are the things which will only get better.” – Donna Ashworth

Best, Jay

Over COFFEE,

JAYSPEAK

Go get a cup of coffee and join me for a conversation with my readers and my sponsors and a coffee while I share with you some thoughts about my new home in Paris. I know, I know, the world is a mess. I voted and got confirmation of receipt. Every young boy CANNOT grow and be President of the U.S. It takes more than just being male or female or opportunity. Meanwhile…… I want to crystallize my thoughts as to why I like this area for you – the 16^th Arrondissement in Paris, near the Bois de Boulogne. It is called the Auteuil Area and has quite a history (for you History Buffs). I don’t like it for its history. I would have loved the 6^th Arrondissement (where I lived for 7 months and moved). It was FULL of history. And my reasons are not based on…

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Over COFFEE,

I really like this space a lot. I feel “at home” here. Why? Short answer is, “I don’t know, but I do.” But, let’s take a closer look. I loved Los Angeles. I loved living there. 48 years. I was young and old there and had a successful acting career in film and television and a successful career as an attorney. I went to law school in the area. My family still lives in that area. I lived in several areas in LA, but my favorites were in Pacific Palisades and at 2399 Mandeville Canyon in Brentwood.

I always dreamed of “one day” living in France. Now, I am living in France. I lived in Nice, France, for 4 years, and now I am in Paris. I did not like living in Nice. I did not like living in Paris in a small studio in the 6^th Arrondissement. I knew it was temporary, anyway. I do not have a favorite area of Paris.

By luck or by fluke, I came across an ad for an apartment in the 16^th that sounded great. To me. I was surrounded by the city in the 6^th, and people, and buildings, and history, and museums, and gorgeous gardens and shops and The Seine and restaurants and cafes. And the VIRUS. Lots of activity. BUT, I missed the Sea. I needed more calm. I needed more air. Less activity. Was I making a mistake? What was going on?

By luck or by fluke, I got this apartment (long story), and it had a lot of problems. For me. I have been here since August, and I feel “at home” here. This is why (I think).

The people are residents. French. Nice French and rude, arrogant French. A lot of people really don’t speak English. Nor want to. All ages. Young, old, and in-between. Most of the shops are small and owner occupied. “Mom and Pop” stores. I cannot find a lot of products here because it is like a small town in the city. They don’t care that they don’t have what I want. If I want something else, I can go get it. The big stores are up the street in the Passy area. Or closer to the center of town. Where all of tourists are at Museums and gorgeous structures and people who need to “shop”. I don’t go there because I don’t need big stores and shopping. I usually adjust and “use what they carry”. It’s easier. And, With the virus, I avoid congested areas and open-air markets with a lot of people. I like that people just “live here”. If they want upscale and livelier, it is a taxi drive away, or metro, or bus ride.

There is an open-air market on Saturdays and Wednesdays down the street. I don’t go. In the future, I may go after the virus. I buy what I eat at a market that delivers and puts my groceries in my kitchen for me. And ALL of the restaurants have delicious food. I may eat lunch out, but I most of the time eat what is here in the apartment. Nothing fancy, something healthy, usually.

The people are nice. Not overly friendly. But, nice. I feel safe. Some areas are livelier than others. I don’t need livelier. I like nice and easy and Paris. Just people. Living here. Some young, some old, some single, some families, small children, lots of dogs. Lots of canes. People helping people. Polite to me. Usually.

The restaurants in the neighborhood seem to know a lot of their clientele. It has a “neighborhood” feeling. I am still becoming part of the neighborhood. Sorta. I have bought a real down jacket for the weather; a down comforter for the cold nights. Some Ugg boots for around the house. And some great Tech guys in a small shop to fix my iPhone. I am trying to get things I want and need slowly online and/or in a local shop, somewhere. The concierge here accepts packages for me if I order something. I am still figuring all of that out.

I have three doctors and a new vet for Missy within walking distance. And they are good doctors that I really like. Everything is local for me. I have been to a lot of expensive doctors in the 6,7, 14 and 15 that I DON’T like. I don’t need to go anywhere. At least – not yet. I don’t want to risk public transportation and Uber is expensive from here. That time will come. After the virus. I see bus stops and metro stations and taxi stations. Not on my street but down the hill and on bigger streets.

I don’t know if it is lively at night. I am not out at night. With a 9:00 pm. Curfew, I doubt it. But I don’t know. It is lively during the day, with people exercising, walking dogs, chatting with neighbors and going to work with drivers. G7 a lot. I see a lot of businesspeople getting into G7 taxis. Lots of cafes for coffee and croissants. Good bakeries. Fresh orange juice. My biggest complaint is that the toilets are always down steep spirally stairs without good bannisters. I have to plan and time my stops and lunches. I have seen some restaurants where I want to try lunch at some point.

Hey, it is probably not for everyone. It is not the high life of the 6^th. Or the Marais. Or the 8^th. But, I am very happy here. For more active people, there are Roland Garros, the Soccer Stadium, and lots of activity up the street at the Trocadero. And, museums up the hill and across the river, but I am happy I live in a lovely residential neighborhood. Quiet and safe. Virus-free. Especially after living seven months in the center of everything where I had bars on the windows and had lots of bolts on the door. I now have plants in my apartment and on my balcony. I have a full kitchen and my piano in the living room. And, a huge television. In all, I have 5 rooms (enough room for me and Missy). I can accommodate visitors with privacy (sorta). I know how to get to the woods and to more activities and to the heart of the city. I have friends for lunch out, but no room for a table here (the piano takes up the room). And a full kitchen for cooking. And, I have a Paris address. Here are some photos that are so-so.

These pictures are not great. But, who cares. None of you will be doing this anyway, and I feel good. Sorta. I miss my family. I miss comforts. There is a list of things I miss. Most of all, I miss my youth and driving my car. But, I am here and will stay here for now. As Blake would say, “keeping on keeping on.

Stay tuned, Jay

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BEGINNING ANEW………

Oops! Only .7 mile, today. That is not far enough. Just so you know, The goal is “retrain the brain”, AND, I must work on my body at the same time. The doctor said that I need physical therapy for my knees and brain therapy for my brain!!! So, 80’s, here I come. I must Exercise, ready or not!!

So, this morning, I got up. Fed the cat. Had my breakfast. Put on my Nike stretch pants, a workout shirt, a warm coat (it’s Paris and in the 40’s outside), an ugly warm hat and look ugly while walking out the door! Well, looking good is not the goal. And, my brain doesn’t care what I look like!! And, the route was to be the road less traveled since the virus likes crowds. The mindset is “do it anyway.” One foot in front of the other, avec cane. 1 mile a walk is sufficient. Up the hill, across and back down another street. MAYBE get a coffee and croissant, if the toilette is accessible. Not a requirement. 1-mile workout.

I took photos! RED LETTER DAY!!!! Hey, it is a beginning. And, we need to focus on the brain and on the body. One step in front of the other. DO IT, ANYWAY!!

WALK OUT THE FRONT DOOR! YOU GOT THIS!!! anyway, it’s fun!

UP THE STREET (goal is to work the legs going up)

TURN RIGHT AT JASMINE (Pretty building and man who thought I was taking his picture and the picture of his sign haha)

JUST SOME PRETTY DOORS AND ARCHITECTURE AND “BANGLADESH HOUSE” (whatever that is)

JASMINE METRO STATION on MOZART (and uphill to Passy area but I am now going down toward the Auteuil area. This is sorta in the middle of the 16eme arrondissement.)

A PAUSE AT ONE OF THE LOCAL FLOWER SHOPS (SB Fleurs) WITH PHOTOS

SHOULD I GET A PAIN RAISIN AND COFFEE? YES!

AND HOME! FUN EXPLORATION AND MY BRAIN IS HAPPY AND SO IS MY BODY!

I bought lunch at the Bakery and a plant for the apartment, so I had to go home. And only .7 of a mile. That is NOT far enough. So, next walk I must add something, as I explore in my workout. Stay tuned…..

I’m backkkkkkkk.

Best, Jay

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5 YEARS LATER…PARIS – OCTOBER 2020

At 40, Franz Kafka (1883-1924), who never married and had no children, walked through the park in Berlin when he met a girl who was crying because she had lost her favourite doll. She and Kafka searched for the doll unsuccessfully.
Kafka told her to meet him there the next day and they would come back to look for her.
The next day, when they had not yet found the doll, Kafka gave the girl a letter “written” by the doll saying “please don’t cry. I took a trip to see the world. I will write to you about my adventures.”
Thus began a story which continued until the end of Kafka’s life.
During their meetings, Kafka read the letters of the doll carefully written with adventures and conversations that the girl found adorable.
Finally, Kafka brought back the doll (he bought one) that had returned to Berlin.
“It doesn’t look like my doll at all,” said the girl.
Kafka handed her another letter in which the doll wrote: “my travels have changed me.” the little girl hugged the new doll and brought her happy home.
A year later Kafka died.
Many years later, the now-adult girl found a letter inside the doll. In the tiny letter signed by Kafka it was written:
“Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end, love will return in another way.”
– Spiritual Awakenings

JAYSPEAK

This is my world and welcome to it! What is on my mind this weekend?

Lots. I have settled into my new home in Paris, 16e. I like it. It is not perfect (by a long shot) but the feeling is right. That is what is important. But, right now, I am staying in and staying put for the time-being. No choice. Good. I don’t have to choose. I tend to overdo, and I cannot trust myself to choose to do nothing. But, right now, I have no choice. The virus is outside, and I have gotten some bad health news. Sorta. Maybe it is good news. Sorta. It is The News that I have been expecting since I flew out of LA and into the greater world on October 1, 2015, with my husband Steve to “do something else”. Neither one of us would use the word “retire”. My…

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5 YEARS LATER…PARIS – OCTOBER 2020

This is my world and welcome to it! What is on my mind this weekend?

A specialist yesterday told me that I had a small stroke in October 2018 after my failed first knee replacement surgery! He called it a “vascular accident”. I remember the rehabilitation nurses’ concern for my blood pressure at the time. I assured them that my numbers run high and that I was fine. Not fine. Vertigo and dizziness since then. Was that because of a “vascular accident” in the left ear to the brain? (That is the French way of telling me in English that I had had a stroke. And, that I would not die, but I have to do therapy to retrain my brain. And, my ignoring it was going to make it get worse. ) On September 25^th, something got worse. I felt it happen. So, Willy Loman (Biff and Happy), “attention must be paid”! But, frankly, doctors looked at my MRI in July, 2020 and said they could not see anything wrong. I looked it up on YouTube videos and everyone says something different. No one knows. But EVERYONE is taking a guess. I can pick and choose.

Well. I am finally where I have wanted to be for a lot of my life – Paris – (especially in my heart and head), and I must take it easy. How does one take it easy? Time to learn. I am sorry to unload this on you at this time when the world is having a meltdown, but hey! Why not??? Besides, I am in PARIS! The perfect place for meltdowns! (just kidding.) So on this World Mental Health Day , I say it is ok not to be okay. So, as I said, “This is my World and Welcome to it!” So, while the rest of the world is having meltdowns, I will deal with my small corner of this vast universe. I don’t like “stroke”. I don’t like “die”. so, I shall do the kini and see what happens.

So, this weekend, Missy and I are taking it easy. Her expensive balcony is fixed, and she is not paying any attention to it. And, I am practicing working basics with my brain, like my handwriting, swallowing, and other easy stuff. Haha. So that is on my mind this morning. I will be into doctors for a while. Ouch ($$$) and relearning how to do things. I will make this work for a while longer – as long as I think I can and still be safe. And I am having fun! Sorta. Hey! I could be miserable. Remember, it is all a choice. ….beats pictures of food. Roses would work! Or donations to help with doctor bills. Sometimes I add that link. I did today because, yesterday, I saw a specialist. Frankly, I don’t know how to stay safe. Do you? “It is the ‘luck of the draw'”!