This is my world and welcome to it! What is on my mind this weekend?
Lots. I have settled into my new home in Paris, 16e. I like it. It is not perfect (by a long shot) but the feeling is right. That is what is important. But, right now, I am staying in and staying put for the time-being. No choice. Good. I don’t have to choose. I tend to overdo, and I cannot trust myself to choose to do nothing. But, right now, I have no choice. The virus is outside, and I have gotten some bad health news. Sorta. Maybe it is good news. Sorta. It is The News that I have been expecting since I flew out of LA and into the greater world on October 1, 2015, with my husband Steve to “do something else”. Neither one of us would use the word “retire”. My doctor in LA told me that I was at risk with my trial schedule for a heart attack or stroke. Daddy had a stroke. I paid no attention. So, it was with reluctance that I flew out of a city I loved and a profession I loved – the law.
A specialist yesterday told me that I had a small stroke in October 2018 after my failed first knee replacement surgery! He called it a “vascular accident”. I remember the rehabilitation nurses’ concern for my blood pressure at the time. I assured them that my numbers run high and that I was fine. Not fine. Vertigo and dizziness since then. Was that because of a “vascular accident” in the left ear to the brain? (That is the French way of telling me in English that I had had a stroke. And, that I would not die, but I have to do therapy to retrain my brain. And, my ignoring it was going to make it get worse. ) On September 25th, something got worse. I felt it happen. So, Willy Loman (Biff and Happy), “attention must be paid”! But, frankly, doctors looked at my MRI in July, 2020 and said they could not see anything wrong. I looked it up on YouTube videos and everyone says something different. No one knows. But EVERYONE is taking a guess. I can pick and choose.
Well. I am finally where I have wanted to be for a lot of my life – Paris – (especially in my heart and head), and I must take it easy. How does one take it easy? Time to learn. I am sorry to unload this on you at this time when the world is having a meltdown, but hey! Why not??? Besides, I am in PARIS! The perfect place for meltdowns! (just kidding.) So on this World Mental Health Day , I say it is ok not to be okay. So, as I said, “This is my World and Welcome to it!” So, while the rest of the world is having meltdowns, I will deal with my small corner of this vast universe. I don’t like “stroke”. I don’t like “die”. so, I shall do the kini and see what happens.
So, this weekend, Missy and I are taking it easy. Her expensive balcony is fixed, and she is not paying any attention to it. And, I am practicing working basics with my brain, like my handwriting, swallowing, and other easy stuff. Haha. So that is on my mind this morning. I will be into doctors for a while. Ouch ($$$) and relearning how to do things. I will make this work for a while longer – as long as I think I can and still be safe. And I am having fun! Sorta. Hey! I could be miserable. Remember, it is all a choice. ….beats pictures of food. Roses would work! Or donations to help with doctor bills. Sometimes I add that link. I did today because, yesterday, I saw a specialist. Frankly, I don’t know how to stay safe. Do you? “It is the ‘luck of the draw'”!
Doctors and other basics – Missy