I feel like I am in prison and I need a better attitude but the pandemic created fear 

So, I want to be a light in the dark in a hurting world……

therefore I must find a way to create a Playground in my apartment for myself, but I am ….

Alone. No playmates.

Here are my choices:

Activities :

(in random order)


draw pictures (UGH)

Hair and makeup


write a book or blog (LABOR INTENSIVE)

Yoga mat





Walk around 




Take everything personally, bless her heart…..

Thought …

My soul is ageless.

Sometimes I wake up and I’m five.

I still want to believe in magic and pixie dust…

Sometimes I wake up and I’m 15.

I have strength and I feel I can change the world…

Sometimes I wake up and I’m 30.

I step on the earth, but I know I can fly…

Sometimes I wake up and I’m 60.

I have the experience and I want to share.

Offer the tranquility and wisdom of time,

that doesn’t stop, that heals, that heals…

Sometimes I wake up and I don’t know how old I am and

nor how many passed.,,

And it’s in the soul, full of love and memories

that I feel all ages,

showing me a rich and precious life.

And that’s where I find my great treasure,

a beautiful patchwork quilt,

unique, original and that bears my signature.

And on it is written:



Dear Self,

I apologize for the times

When I refused to listen to you 

And instead listened to the sea of voices surrounding you  

As though they knew what was best for you

Rather than you 

I apologize for the times

When I refused to allow you to write your own story

Live your own life

Follow your own dreams

And listen to your own heart

And instead suppressed your voice

Silenced your hopes

Stunted your growth

And sabotaged your success

Out of fear, anxiety, insecurity 

A lack of self-confidence 

And self-doubt 

I apologize for the times

When I put others on a pedestal

And elevated their opinions of you 

Above your own 

I apologize for the times 

When others wounded you

Criticised you 

Made fun of you 

Left you feeling like you were ugly, worthless

Or a waste of space

And called you strange, different, weird or quirky 

And a whole bunch of labels

Because they were incapable of seeing your worth

You didn’t fit into their boxes 

Or they didn’t understand you

And instead of sticking up for you 

I listened to them 

Chose to be hurt by them 

And internalised those messages 

Allowing them to dictate and define who you were 

Rather than allowing you to trust that you knew better

And to define yourself

I apologize for teaching you 

To shrink yourself

To make others more comfortable 

Make yourself small 

To satisfy those around you 

Attempt to appear less beautiful 

To make others feel better about themselves

Appear be less intelligent 

To make others feel less intimidated

And to be less loud 

And take up less space in the world. 

For believing that you were your body

And your outer shell was more important

Than your inner soul

And for believing that you had to prove yourself and your worth to others

In order to be deserving of a place in the world.

And I want you to know

I’m proud of you 

I’m grateful for you 

And I’m in awe of how far you’ve come 

And who you are becoming.

Please forgive me for failing to recognise your worth 

Please forgive me for believing that you weren’t enough 

And that you were undeserving of love 

And please know that from this moment on  

I’m putting your needs first 

I’m listening to your guidance 

I’m allowing you to take up space and be your own unique person 

I’m celebrating you fully even when others don’t 

I’m embracing who you authentically are 

I’m forgiving you for the times when you’ve failed and stumbled 

I’m refusing to allow others to bring you down and make you feel less about yourself due to external factors beyond your control 

And I’m choosing to love and accept you fully 

Starting from today.

Word by Tahlia Hunter


You may have heard the phrase “beware the Ides of March,” but what is an Ides and what’s there to fear? The Ides is actually a day that comes about every month, not just in March—according to the ancient Roman calendar, at least. The Romans tracked time much differently than we do now, with months divided into groupings of days counted before certain named days: the Kalends at the beginning of the month, the Ides at the middle, and the Nones between them. In a 31-day month such as March, the Kalends was day 1, with days 2–6 being counted as simply “before the Nones.” The Nones fell on day 7, with days 8–14 “before the Ides” and the 15th as the Ides. Afterward the days were counted as “before the Kalends” of the next month. In shorter months these days were shifted accordingly.

You have probably heard of the Ides of March, however, because it is the day Roman statesman Julius Caesar was assassinated. The immortal words “Beware the Ides of March” are uttered in William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar to the leader by a fortune-teller. Other bad things have happened on March 15, of course, but there’s probably no reason to beware March’s Ides more than the Ides of any other month.


Letting Go…

To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret.

Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past.

Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not giving in or giving up.

Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not defeat. 

To let go is to cherish memories, and overcome and move on. It’s having an open mind and confidence in the future.

Letting go is accepting. It’s learning and experiencing and growing.

To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon again.

Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving.

Letting go is growing up. It’s realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy.

To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path, and to set you free.

Best, Jay 




Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah.

3 thoughts on “WE CAN DO IT!!!!! TOGETHER

  1. Such a beautiful vase! It looks like spring is here in GA after several late cold blasts. I’m sure my blueberries were killed by all of it but I am not at my home to see it. I moved into Assisted living to be with Gates. I am here as a “companion” and I sure am that. I hardly leave our small place here. We are in an area of Gainesville the you wouldn’t imagine. It’s off of Jesse Jewell but in an area that would be new and strange to you.

    After Gates’ last trip to the hospital we decided the only way we can keep him out of the hospital, which is hard, is to have him in hospice. They keep him comfortable too. We have our dog Lucy here with us so she and I and I get out in the sunshine on walks during the day. I still think things would look better to you if you would get outside just a little. Isn’t there a sunny bench nearby to just soak up some sun and get out of your prison!

    Love, Kay >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How wonderful for you to get outside with your dog and sit in the sun and walk while you help Gates . You are so thoughtful. Sending love to you and Gates


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