It is not easy living alone anywhere after the death of a spouse when you are older and independent. Soooooo
One idea is embrace your fear
How ?
I don’t know how ! I just ask the questions……
Fear of what ?
I don’t know. Fear of change. Getting better.
A Celebrated psychoanalyst Adam Phillips discusses change and getting better.
Can people truly change? When one is alone or unhappy or unwell, is it possible to get better? Adam Phillips, the UK’s foremost literary psychoanalyst, thinks that these may not be the right questions to ask. Rather, we should consider what we mean by the terms ‘change’ and ‘get better’, and how transformation and self-betterment have been mythologized. In bestselling works On Wanting to Change and On Wanting to Get Better, Phillips encourages us to rethink the ways we talk about mental health and the lives we lead. By redefining the terms of the conversation surrounding change, we may learn to think more clearly about ourselves. Phillips will discuss the human mind and the tools we have to understand it.
One thought is…….
“The more you praise and celebrate your own life, the more in life there will be to celebrate”.
~Life in itself is a gift.
Start there … you were given life …
Celebrate the breath in your lungs
Praise the beauty your eyes can see
Enjoy the sound of beautiful music, nature and children’s laughter your ears can hear …
Put your hands on your heart and feel it beat and know, where there’s life there can be joy!
Some may feel their life doesn’t have much to rejoice about, and maybe on the surface it’s true.
And maybe you’re going through a very rough time and your very heart is broken …
Don’t let hardship kill the beauty residing in your soul. Allow yourself to be lifted up, higher day by day choosing to still rejoice the life within you … 
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Life disappoints you so you stop living from illusions and see reality.
Life destroys everything superfluous, until only the important remains
Life does not leave you in peace, so you stop fighting, and accept everything as it is?
Life takes what you have, until you stop complaining and learn gratitude
Life sends you troubled people so that you can heal and stop projecting what you have inside.
Life lets you fall again and again, until you decide to learn the lesson.
Life takes you out of the way and presents you with crossroads, until you stop wanting to control and learn to flow like a river.
Life puts you enemies on the road, until you stop “reacting”.
Life frightens you and startles you as many times as necessary, until you lose the fear and regain faith.
Life takes away your true love, it does not grant or allow it, until you stop trying to buy it with trinkets.
Life distances you from the people you love, until you understand that we are not this body, but the soul that powers it.
Life laughs at you so many times, until you stop taking everything so seriously and laugh at yourself. Life breaks you and breaks you in as many parts as necessary for the light to penetrate.
Life confronts you with rebels, until you stop trying to control.
Life repeats the same message, even with shouts and slaps, until you finally listen.
Life sends you thunder and storms, so you wake up. Life humiliates and defeats you again and again until you decide to let the EGO die.
Life denies you goods and greatness until you stop wanting goods and greatness and you begin to serve. Life cuts your wings and prunes your roots, until you need neither wings nor roots, but only disappear in the forms and fly from the Self.
Life denies you miracles, until you understand that everything is a miracle.
Life shortens your time, so you hurry to learn to live. Life ridicules you until you become nothing, until you become nobody, and so you become everything.
Life does not give you what you want, but what you need to evolve. Ugh.
Life hurts you, hurts you, torments you, until you let go of your whims and tantrums and appreciate just breathing.
Life hides treasures from you, until you start your journey, until you go out to look for them.
Life denies you God, until you see it in everyone and everything.
Life shortens you, prunes you, takes you away, breaks you, disappoints you, cracks you, … until only LOVE remains.”
Hmmm
If everyone lit just one little candle, it would be better than to glow in the Dark
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1. Most of our lives are spent chasing false goals and worshipping false ideals. The day you realise that is the day you really start to live.
2. You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and your loved ones second, everyone else is busy pleasing themselves anyway, trust me.
3. Fighting the ageing process is like trying to catch the wind. Go with it, enjoy it. Your body is changing, but it always has been. Don’t waste time trying to reverse that, instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the new.
4. Nobody is perfect and nobody is truly happy with their lot. When that sinks in you are free of comparison and free of judgement. It’s truly liberating.
5. No one really sees what you do right, everyone sees what you do wrong. When that becomes clear to you, you will start doing things for the right reason and you will start having so much more fun.
6. You will regret the years you spent berating your looks, the sooner you can make peace with the vessel your soul lives in, the better. Your body is amazing and important but it does not define you.
7. Your health is obviously important but stress, fear and worry are far more damaging than any delicious food or drink you may deny yourself. Happiness and peace are the best medicine.
8. Who will remember you and for what, become important factors as you age. Your love and your wisdom will live on far longer than any material thing you can pass down. Tell your stories, they can travel farther than you can imagine.
9. We are not here for long but if you are living against the wind it can feel like a life-sentence. Life should not feel like a chore, it should feel like an adventure.
10. Always, always, drink the good champagne/ Cacao and use the things you keep for ‘best’. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Today is a gift that’s why we call it the present.
Eat, Drink & Be Merry. ENLARGE YOUR UNIVERSE!!!!
Just something or some things to think about.
Meanwhile, hang in there…… I will if you will… one step at a time….
Best, Jay
JAYSPEAK 