Last night, while I was reading articles online about the virus, I heard the news in France.  “Starting at midnight Saturday, (last night), all non-essential businesses — including cafes, restaurants and movie theatres — will be closed until further notice, French Prime Minister Édouard Philippe said. Banks, gas stations, supermarkets and pharmacies will remain open” (for now).

I freaked.  I have not stocked up on anything.  This is a small apartment.  I was planning to buy extras of things after I got up and running.  I am not up and running.  I still don’t have WIFI or doctors or “things” in place yet. I barely have room for me and my things.  And, now, I have a lease for one year before I am wanted gone “to a place of my own”. So, I am trying to decide when to start looking……

As an attorney, I do NOT advise handling one’s old age this way.  I am really flying solo here without a base of any kind.  Steve and I had made plans and lists and wills and…..  But, after he died, I have done nothing.  I have made a couple of calls about ways to change beneficiaries, but I still have to make the changes.  To be honest about it, part of me doesn’t care.  Steve cared.  I cared.  But, now, ……

OK, Daddy was born on Friday, the 13th.  He always considered it a lucky day for him.  He was an outstanding man and lived a good life.  I loved him very much.  He was a role model for me.  I have been told that I am a “black swan”. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?  Black swans represent a theory that reflects the disproportionate role of high-profile, hard-to-predict, and rare events that are beyond the realm of normal expectations in history, science, finance, and technology.  See also, Coronavirus that is pervasive world-wide.  So, black swan, I shall remain  (thank you, Cynthia.)

OK, IF I had a plan, what would it be?

My Plan, IF I had a plan……….(haha)

I am living IN PARIS!!!  So, do it.  Live.  That means I must stay alive until the restaurants open again.  Until AFTER the virus is not a problem with daily life.  I plan to explore, to see things, to learn about French culture, to listen to classical music, to  go to the theatre, to go to group events (Democrats Abroad, Apres Midi, The American Church, plus others).

What have I accomplished in the six weeks I have been here,

… I found a dentist in the neighborhood

…I hired a housekeeper and like his work

…I made space for my things in this studio

…I have the key from the Managers for the cave next door for the access to WiFi fibre box

… I have stores I like when they are open

…I have restaurants I like when they are open

…I have one doctor who is on the French system

…I have a vet I like

…Missy is finally having her shots

…I can order groceries from Monoprix in an emergency to this address

…I can work (for the most part) from hotspot for the internet

… I have met one neighbor

…I found a small grocery store

…The Luxembourg Gardens are nearby, and I know how to get there

…I have a Pharmacy that I like

… I have new business cards with my new address

…I have new checks with my new address

So, I need to find a larger apartment in an area that I like (with trees and gardens and flowers and markets and cafes and a “neighborhood I like and feel safe in).  Where?  I don’t know yet.

I need to update my Will and my lists.  That means, I must find someone who will help me.  Who?  I don’t know yet.

I need to have doctors I like who live relatively close to where I live (in case I need help).  I need to get help with funding.  How?  Work somehow.  Doing what?  I don’t know yet.  (Haha).

See what I mean?  I don’t know yet.  But, in Nice, I wanted to die.  Here, I want to live.  That is good and a step in the right direction!!!  Now, I DID NOT PLAN on this virus.  So, can I do it?  I DAMN WELL AM GOING TO TRY.

Now, the Italians are singing off of their balconies.  The Irish are dancing in the Malls.  Who knows what the Spaniards will do.  The French are picnicking in their living rooms with elegance.

So, I have my work cut out for me.  Get groceries.  Stock up on litter and cat food.  Stock up on some important basics for the kitchen.  Start saving water.  What am I going to do if the water gets to be a problem?  I don’t know yet. (I cannot store water.  It is too heavy for me to carry.)  So, this may already be out of control.  I hope not.

I will probably take my chances.  Why?  I don’t like the alternatives.  Why?  I don’t know yet.

Best, Jay





Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah.


  1. Jay, I just went out. The French are very stubborn people. There were plenty of people out–were they voting? I don’t know. But I went to Franprix and Carrefour, little ones. Plenty of food, just no toilet paper and paper towels. One of my veggie stands is open and well-stocked. I think you will be fine. But I do urge you to have as much delivered as you can–it’s all free for les agées, like you and me!!!


Comments are closed.


The days of our lives


Welcome to My World!


-Chase the Stories



Chris Rogers The Actor

SAG-AFTRA Actor, WordPress Presenter, & Public Speaker

The Grief Reality

Normalising the conversation about Grief.

Writing about...Writing

Some coffee, a keyboard and my soul! My first true friends!

john pavlovitz

Stuff That Needs To Be Said

An Hour From Paris

Annabel Simms

Sweet Peach

A Southern Lifestyle Blog


A little something for you.

Be Inspired..!!

Listen to your inner has all the answers..

Out My Window

musings by Sara Somers

Copyrights and Wrongs

A blog from the Law Office of Larry Zerner about copyright and entertainment law matters

Suz Learns @ Behind the Postcard

This season: Cycling through Europe.

%d bloggers like this: