“Democracy is not a state. It is an act, and each generation must do its part to help build what we called the Beloved Community, a nation and world society at peace with itself.  Ordinary people with extraordinary vision can redeem the soul of America by getting in what I call good trouble, necessary trouble. Voting and participating in the democratic process are key.” Though I may not be here with you, I urge you to answer the highest calling of your heart and stand up for what you truly believe. In my life I have done all I can to demonstrate that the way of peace, the way of love and nonviolence is the more excellent way. Now it is your turn to let freedom ring.” – Representative John Lewis. 

From where I sit this week, these words from John Lewis are inspiring and reverberate throughout my soul.  Even with all of the chaos that is penetrating throughout the world. His words are a beacon of light at the other end of the tunnel.  For me.  All of this what “from and for and about” me. Haha.  Why? 

I am starting over.  Tomorrow is August 1, 2020, and it is a new day for me.  Why?  OK, here goes….

During July, I had a bunch of tests plus an MRI to find out why I am so dizzy and feel so bad.  I was terrified to find out the results, hoping it was not a tumor.  One doctor told me I probably had a tumor in my left ear.  What??????  With the virus and trying to survive in general, I MAY HAVE A TUMOR?????   She did not know and wanted to find out. SO DID I?????

NOTHING.  They found nothing.  There is nothing wrong with me!   WHAT????? Nothing is wrong with me.???   How can that be?????  Ok, all of this is going on.  Terror and relief.  Frustration. Why?  I must move.  My deal with my current landlord, a friend, is that I can stay here until I find an apartment – for a year.  The year is up in the middle of winter (which in Paris is dreary).  Plus, it is not easy to rent an apartment at all in Paris for expats. Most people and real estate agents require a “dossier” and “guarantors” and things I don’t have.  AND, they don’t want a tenant to be 83.  In the middle of the pandemic – at the age of 83 and without a dossier or a guarantor, I started looking.  Haha.  My thinking was that owners wanted tenants (to pay a rent) and no one was moving in or out of France.  I could pay the rent. 

I found one I like.  What were/are my requirements? Some nature nearby and one bedroom in Paris – not too high up with an elevator.  The apartment I found is a one bedroom on the 5th floor with two elevators near the Bois du Boulogne. 


Lots of nature.  I like the owner.  But the lease is not yet signed.  So, hopefully, that will be my new home.

The lifestyle will be very different. I think that will be good for me. Why? After spending a LOT of time researching dizziness, a lot of it is emotional.  So, my work is cut out for me.  I need to get a grip, get into regular physical therapy, balance my crystals, exercise, improve my outlook, wear a mask, wash my hands, …….  WHAT????  That is TOO hard.  Plus, I am beginning to like the 6e and its “café society.”  Well, ALL of Paris has a café society.  I must find a new café, new doctors, new physical therapy, new, new, new.  New neighborhood.  Begin again.     

STOP liking where you are.  The deal was that you would move.  Period. End of story.

So, that is what is going on from where I sit.  I am not going to die from an ear tumor.  I don’t have one.  And, so far, I don’t have the virus.  I am mostly staying inside or social distancing and wearing a mask and washing my hands a lot. And, if I don’t move into this apartment – in a residential area near the woods, I will find another one and try to convince the owner that I am an honest, nice person at age 83 (a good tenant).  And, time is of the essence because “the second wave is coming.”  Remember, happiness is the journey.  Enjoy the journey.   Enjoy your life.   

More than you ever wanted to know from where I sit. 








P.S.  I will try to get interesting photos  wherever I am.  But, they will not be photos of the 6e.  So, while I am still here, here are some beauties (I think.)

Best, Jay


Donation – Beginning Again in PARIS)

Thanks for helping me afford where I am going AGAIN in Paris. I will do my best! Thanks, Jay


Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah.


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