CHOICES

This is on my mind…

Life is a choice., live or die !!

I don’t want to die, so I need to live. And that is the hard part after this pandemic. I thought I would die . And actually I was happy staying inside for a lonnnnnng time. Now is time to get out and live again. GO…..

Sounds glamorous in Paris. but it is not I miss my family but no one wants me because I have brain damage .

So I am staying in Paris and tending to hibernate . Oops.

I didn’t believe that my family would abandon me in my old age but they did and have !

But the only important thing is that I am alive and I will be 86 on March 30th. And I have a lot of living to do!

My grandmother lived to be 112 almost. So my DNA is good.

So I am focusing on good health and my brain .

This Christmas, I realized for the first time how frightened Mary must have been to be pregnant and no one would believe her that she had not had sex with a man. I wouldn’t. Would you ? No. And Joseph helped her anyway because he loved her.

I was pregnant and knew I was pregnant but I had slept with a man and a baby girl was on her way.

And the Magi were people in foreign countries who were astrologers and had to travel by camel caravans. It took a long time. Maybe a year or more.

I have had a wonderful life and I think it would be a wonderful film for a producer and it is still going on!! I have lots of ideas for Paris but got stopped in my tracks by the pandemic and my brain and fear galore. But I think it will be over at some point and I will continue…. The War and the New Normal and Climate Change and God’s Plan to be a light in the dark for a hurting world.

You need to keep going, too. Let’s do it together!!

Best, Jay

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Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah. View more posts

One thought on “CHOICES”

I always get sick each year from Thanksgiving to Boxing Day. Why? I had a sucky childhood. Too many ngihtmarish memories of Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners where the booze flowed freely and the opposing cousins sat on opposite sides of the table and first they threw the wine at each other and then the knives and if they were really pissed – the wine bottles – though blessedly by then someone would take the wine bottle out of the hand of whichever one of them was holding it before they tossed it across the table.

So, I un-people as much as possible from Thanksgiving to Boxing Day and stay as isolated as I can. It’s my way of coping. I am 74 – almost 75 – all the cousiins have moved on to green pastures and I know I should get over myself with regards to this – but unfortunately those memories are still there. So I plod on – happy from Boxing Day to Thanksgiving Day each year. Obla Dee – Oblah Dah – Life Goes On.

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