CHOOSE THE UNCOMFORTABLE.

“We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time.”  (Denis Waitley)   

WELLLLLL, it is never too late.  I may still be blooming!!  I like to think so, anyway.  The latest urge is to move to Paris.  I started immediately with the “but, how can I take the piano?  Should I sell the car? But, what about all of the artwork?  What will I do with all the dishes and pots and pans?  But, how will I let go of all of this?  I don’t have the money to take it all with me.”  and so forth……..  Interesting thing – in ALL of my arguments with myself, NEVER ONCE did I doubt I could do it!  My arguments all concern “letting go of stuff!!!!!!”  Then, I saw this:

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Caring Less? Or, Caring for Something Else More?  In the 1960’s, I cared about my hometown and my teaching position in Gainesville, Georgia, but I cared about “expanding my horizons” and trying my hand at either getting my PhD at UCLA in Theatre History or acting professionally more.  Lawrence Merrick, “if you REALLY want to, you will!”  (Merrick Studios on Vine Street in Hollywood.) So, I moved my family to uncomfortable, high-energy LA because I cared for Something Else more than my prestigious teaching position at Gainesville Junior College!   That’s not saying that any of them wanted to come with me.  But, they did.  I was very lucky because that was not easy for any of us to do.

Lots of life happened.  Long story for another time (read “Janet Tallulah” to get a taste of what I am talking about. Amazon has two editions listed on my page.  Go for the one with this cover.  Amazon has a mind of its own…..)

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In the 1990’s, I was living alone and comfortable in an apartment in Beverly Hills, and decided to go to Law School.  So, I moved my pets (2 cats and a dog) with me to Irvine, CA, and attended Whittier Law School because I needed a challenge to “recharge my batteries”!!   Once I graduated from Law School (1999), I got a job in Newport Beach, California, with a wonderful attorney.  She was “grooming” me to take over her Orange County Wills and Trusts Law Practice as soon as I passed the California Bar Exam because she and her husband wanted to open a branch of her firm in Palm Desert, CA.  Guess what!! 

In 2000, when I passed the CalBar and was set to take over a successful law practice with existing clients in one of the most desired locations in California – pristine Newport Beach, I TURNED IT DOWN!!!  I moved back to uncomfortable, high-energy LA.  ??????  What????? Was I crazy?  No, I wanted to go back to L.A. more – with all of its graffiti and pot-holes in the streets with road construction everywhere.

Lots of life happened.  That long story has yet to be written. 

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In 2015, when I was a successful lawyer – Law Offices of Jay W. MacIntosh, I gave cases away and moved with my husband, Steve Orlandella, to FRANCE!!!!  What??????  We both needed a change to “recharge our batteries.” 

Lots of life happened.  Long story for another time (read “Jayspeak on the Cote d’Azur” to get a taste of what I am talking about.)

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Fast Forward to TODAY.  Once again, I need to “recharge my battery”.  I have a comfortable apartment with a large patio in Nice, France.  I have my cat Missy to love me.   I have good friends.  People in my neighborhood know me and are friendly with my broken French.  And, I am planning to move to uncomfortable Paris.  What???????  Yes. It is the only way I know to stay engaged in life.  I know some people.  I speak some French.  It is the only way I know to give my life a “jump-start”.  Besides, I still have places I want to go and things I want to learn.  If I stay here, I am afraid that I will get comfortable and wait to die.  It’s gorgeous here. What’s not to love???  I need to be uncomfortable. Steve’s death was NOT OK.  Too uncomfortable.  It really got to me.  Big time.  But, I am getting better, and my health is good (as far as I know).  So, I am taking steps to jump once again into the deep water. Or, “stick my hand into the fire to see if it is hot!!” – as Daddy would say.  

NOW, I RETAIN THE RIGHT TO CHANGE MY MIND.  At any point, I may decide not to do this.  But, the thought of getting an agent in Paris, practicing U.S. Entertainment Law with a Paris address, and meeting new, interesting people, is very exciting to me.  I need to stay engaged in life right now.  I could very easily sit down on the sofa and watch television.  Go to an excellent restaurant for lunch.  Shop the stores.  But, I cannot stay comfortable.    And, if I just sit around and think about things, that is the best way for me to feel depressed and full of despair.  So, I am going for it!  ……. I think.  Haha.  I will drive us both crazy, weighing the pros and cons.  

Well, for the record, I NEVER weigh Pros and Cons.  The Cons are aways more numerous.  BUT, the Pros have it!!!  Staying engaged in LIFE!!! No matter age.  Wish me luck. I am still saving things from Facebook that speak to me.  Thank you for sharing, whoever you are.

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And a few good cartoons for the road……  WHAT??????

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Best, Jay 

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Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah.

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