AUGUST (sigh)

August 2020.  August has become a difficult month for me.  “Bittersweet”.  I think that is the correct use of that word.   First of all, it was full of birthdays when I was growing up.  Lots of good friends had birthdays in August.  As my friends and I have grown apart through the years, I  began to celebrate my first marriage to Darrell MacIntyre.  We were married on August 17, 1957.  When that marriage was over, I tried to forget about August 17, 1957, and celebrated a lot of birthdays in August. 

It is hot in August. I am always glad when September arrives.  June and July are better do-nothing summer months for me.  August is “get ready to go back to school” month.  Summer is winding down. Who had/still have birthdays?  Carole. Alice. Rosemary.  Here is a picture of Rosemary.  We have lost touch. So have Alice and I.  I still stay in touch with Carole. I miss Alice and Rosemary.  All of us are in our “golden years”


I married Steve Orlandella in August 2005. We were planning a fun October wedding with family and friends but decided to “elope” to Las Vegas and the Bellagio Hotel for an August date, determined by when his family would come.  August 7, 2005, on a Sunday.  So that is what we did, and it was a WONDERFUL weekend.  No honeymoon.  Well, life with Steve was an ongoing honeymoon. No problem.




FAST FORWARD TO AUGUST 2016 – Steve got sick (similar to Covid 19) and went into the hospital on August 2, 2016.

Then, Steve’s birthday was August 11. A group of us with Steve’s visiting sister Kris  had dinner in his honor. At the time, he was getting better.

Group at dinner2


Steve was in the hospital for the month of August. (Got better; then got worse.)

janet & steve


Steve hospital


Steve died on August 31, 2016.  Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.



I buried him in Boston with his family in August 2018.




In Nice, France, August is a very hot month.  In Paris, France, August is a very hot month.  Nothing (much) in France is air-conditioned. I was NOT in an air-conditioned apartments in Nice.  I am NOT in an air-conditioned apartment now.   I don’t do well in excessive heat. AND, ALL of Europe goes “on holiday” during August.  Restaurants close for the month.  Shops close for the month.  People are out of town.  Doctors are out of the office.  Life stops. 


So, I am struggling right now.  No one is returning my calls or my emails.  My walks are full of fences and closed gates and signs on doors.  It is hard to do anything.  And, I am trying to move, stop services, start services.  No one is doing what they say they will do.  I am very frustrated.  And, I fear for myself, my family, my daughter-in-law teachers, my friends, hurricanes, fires, viruses, stocks.  Oh, dear me.  “It is what it is”.  Ugh.  

Yesterday, I went to lunch with a girlfriend to celebrate my memories of a fun day in August.  We had a good time.  Good food. Lots of laughs.  “Bittersweet.”


I did not take any photos.

August 2020.  

This meme makes me feel somewhat better.  Not much. (sigh)


Best, Jay  “IT IS WHAT IT IS.”   – (sigh)



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Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah.

3 thoughts on “AUGUST (sigh)

  1. Reblogged this on JAYSPEAK and commented:

    It is still August and tomorrow is Steve’s 70th Birthday. He died when he was 66. We got married when he was 55. Haha. So young. I loved it!!! We were just kids and did not know it. Then, I was supposed to go first!!! Haha. Beware “making a lot of plans”. Love to all. Jay


  2. You ARE strong. And resourceful. And you will get through August even though it may be heartbreaking and hard. Please know that there are people out there (us!) who love you and support you from afar. You are in our prayers daily.

    Liked by 1 person

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