THIS IS ON MY MIND TODAY. I don’t like to walk or get caught in the rain.  And it is off and on.  So, I am going to spend time with you.  The stats on Jayspeak are booming.  I now have readers from all over the world. That is so amazing to me.  But I LOVE the audience and appreciate the forum.  12,300 visitors.  46,300 views.  So, I shall keep on keeping on until I stop. And I like doing it so I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.  Thank you ALL very much.  So, what’s in store for today? 

First and most important, Janet Tallulah Jewell is back!!!! I, Janet,  took a leave of absence for 64 years, went into hiding under a different name(s), and I came back on June 3, 2021. Long-standing, unresolved issues of mine – which will never be resolved. I did not forgive. I will not forget. But somehow, I let it ALL go. I don’t know how long I have in this Life Journey, but the twists and turns have taken their toll.  I already feel better. A weight gone off my back.  That is my BREAKING NEWS for today. That is a biggie for me. I already see clearer. It wasn’t the name.  It was unresolved issues that I held against Janet. I had difficulty forgiving Janet for her mistakes.  It was a feeling of total and complete failure in all things.  Duh.  I was good at most things.  But, let me say that for now, I just am processing what happened 64 years ago.  And all the years in between.  And all the relationships in between.  So, bear with me while I just post some thoughts and some ramblings.   And a lot will remain unsaid although the message will probably be obvious.  Just let go for a minute and just BE for a minute or two.  That is what I plan to do. 

I need to see what I am doing while the dizzy spells begin to heal.   Janet knows what she is doing – when she stops hiding.  Jay did her best.  And, I have a lot of fences to tear down or mend and a lot of apologizing to my kids and some friends.   I will never be the same again.  Remember, you were here when it happened.  A MAJOR KALEIDOSCOPIC SHIFT.  A miracle has happened.

Bottom line – we have all come through life-altering experiences in this Pandemic.  I spent my time with myself in Paris.  And, talked to myself, you, some stuffed animals, and some plants.  Read, wrote, and watched British mysteries. AND, I am grateful to Facebook.  It had my back and was there when I needed it. Let’s begin. The look. Add LOTS of years.

Well, that pink tiger is so weird that I like it. I overthink everything . AND, I have already simplified my life and gotten rid of stuff, so that won’t happen. I don’t want to fly, I just want to walk and see and think again. Janet can see and think and walk. And, she is pretty. So, I need to work on all of that. Jay has had problems. Nuff said.

Best, Janet

(I have Jay’s back. FYI.)

Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah.


  1. Reblogged this on JAYSPEAK and commented:

    I have made a few additions to this post. It still rambles and is in process but Janet has made peace with herself and that took a while.


  2. Hey Janet! Welcome back. You were never “Jay” in my mind anyhow but I”m glad you are home…..Kay >


    1. Thank you, Kay. But that is not the point. I did not like Janet and to not be her. But I have made peace with her- myself. I now love myself. I hope you know what I mean. Maybe I did not make myself clear. No matter. Thanks I will continue being both because I legalized Jay. But I now love and understand both.

      Liked by 1 person

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