How is that for a “lede”? Did I get your attention?

If so, get a coffee. This may take a few minutes.

I HAD A DREAM.  As an early age, I knew that I wanted big things for me.  What? I did not know, but it was big. 

I used to dream of Europe, living somewhere in Europe.  And anything that came between me and my dream, I eliminated. 

In college, I had the opportunity to study at the Sorbonne for a year.  Mother would not let me go.  Too many foreigners to do me wrong.  That is what foreigners do.  (Sigh).   That was when I knew that I had to get to Paris, one way or the other. 

LOTS of passages.  Men, careers.  

And one by one, I moved on.  And now I am here!!  I am so happy.  Not all of us are still alive. I AM!!!

Now, it is not my idea of a good landing in the middle of a worldwide pandemic, but here I am.  I will admit that I feel late to the party.  But I AM HERE!  Paris. 

OK, it is/was not everyone’s dream, but it was mine.  IT propelled me all my life.  Not Gainesville. Atlanta. Not Nice.  PARIS. And all of the stops in between.

THE PROBLEM IS I am a small town girl, needing to embrace a city.  How?  Like I did Los Angeles? 

No.  This is different.


I don’t know yet.  I am going to try to find out. From my point of view, they say that every great city has a pulse.  San Francisco has one, so does Boston, London, and New York to be sure.  But to have a pulse, one must have a heart.  This town has a heart and it beats like a kettledrum.  The traffic is still just short of frantic.  And the people still walk with a pace and a purpose.  It is possible to tour without a car, a taxi, a bus or even the Metro.  The great cities are the ones you can walk in – say hello to a great city  Police with sub-machine guns walk the streets, but there are no scars, there is no fear.  Life goes on.  This place was here long before the terrorists and it will be here long after.  That said, Mister Porter had it right. “I love Paris every moment!”–

And a big shout out to my teachers en route.  When a student is ready, a teacher appears IF the student is willing to learn.   I am expanding my Universe.  And, in 2022, I plan “to embrace” Paris. 

How?  I don’t know yet. 

December 22, 1933 was Hadidjah’s birthday.  Hadidjah was an important teacher in my life.  Here is the beginning of a list that I made of my “teachers” of important life lessons.  And, I don’t have confidence in Karma.  I am not sure that most students are willing to learn.  And life may or may not force it upon them.  I count myself in among those willing to learn. PLUS, life most time insisted a lot of times.  Haha. 

So, I have been thinking about “teachers” in my life – that magically appeared, or I happened to meet by accident.  Synchronicity?  Maybe.  There have been a lot that made my list over the years.  Some are good memories.  Some are painful memories.

Daddy (both good and painful)

Ruby Parks (good)

Barbara Jewell (my sister) (both good and painful)

Miss Bessie (painful)

Jane Hulsey (painful)

Bertha Turner (painful)

Dr. Kahan (good)

Dr. Leighton Ballew (both good and painful)

Josiah Crudup (both good and painful)

Lou Pilgrim (both good and painful)

Hadidjah (good)

Audrey Boehn (both good and painful)

And more throughout life and others who continue to this day.

Have you had “teachers” in your life? Each one of us has teachers appear from time to time because life is a process that is ever-changing if I/we am/are alive. And, recently, I have discovered that I harbor grudges. Oops. AND, I am in Paris, trying to enlarge my universe and get healthy. And money is a problem. BIG OPPS.

So, I am on a crash course heading to find out why I think I am here and letting go of my mistakes in the past and forgiving bad experiences. And, if you have a problem with that, STOP READING THIS BLOG. And, by the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY. NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE for all of us. Every moment is brand new.

And now for some funnies.

Best, Jay



Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah.

8 thoughts on “NEW YEAR / NEW LIFE

  1. I just saw you on the Waltons. A long time ago but you played your part of “cousin Cora” so well I felt bad for you.


  2. I love you Jay. I’ve looked up to you from the day I met you. You conquered every obstacle, you rose to every occasion. You are one of my role models, who I adore. Your tenacious spirit is like no other.

    With love and admiration,
    Tanya Lou🌼


    1. Tanya , I love you. I have so many health and other problems that I have got to solve. Your words inspire me. So have you. I am pulling for you. Jay


Comments are closed.


The days of our lives


Welcome to My World!


-Chase the Stories



Chris Rogers The Actor

SAG-AFTRA Actor, WordPress Presenter, & Public Speaker

The Grief Reality

Normalising the conversation about Grief.

Writing about...Writing

Some coffee, a keyboard and my soul! My first true friends!

john pavlovitz

Stuff That Needs To Be Said

An Hour From Paris

Annabel Simms

Sweet Peach

A Southern Lifestyle Blog


A little something for you.

Be Inspired..!!

Listen to your inner has all the answers..

Out My Window

musings by Sara Somers

Copyrights and Wrongs

A blog from the Law Office of Larry Zerner about copyright and entertainment law matters

Suz Learns @ Behind the Postcard

This season: Cycling through Europe.

%d bloggers like this: