I felt like writing this morning.
Facades fascinate me. I grew up in a house filled with pretence secrets galore. Doesn’t everyone ? I wanted people to be real. But alas and alack nobody was or even wanted to be. So I decided to go on a mission to get real. At least with my friends. Oops, I did not make friends and I did not influence people. Thanks, Dale Carnegie!
And a woman I loved very much for years was living in a beautiful big house in a posh neighborhood in Los Angeles and everything was broken inside. I tried to make her real and wanted to know why everything was broken. I fAILED MISERABLY. It did not work. And Daddy tried to tell me that I did not get it. People need their dreams and their illusions and the grass was not greener on the other side of the fence. Besides , she doesn’t care that things are broken because she doesn’t want to fix them. She does not use them . Why did I need her to fix them. I wanted to use them but I did not live there. Hmmm
I still have my problems with people pretending to be who they are not. The SELL. Or saying one thing and doing another BUT that is my problem, not theirs.
So , you get to choose who you want to be – real or façade? I have been both during my lifetime. But I like real better than pretentious . Usually in a group, there are one or two real people but not many. So I have to pick and choose . And get picked and chosen. And the one with money is like a magnet and gets chosen every time . I got chosen when I had money. Ugh.
I have been rich and I have been poor relatively and I prefer rich. They call the shots and have power. But become mean in the process so the trick is to get rich and stay humble . But I don’t like a pretend with a façade – like the wizard of oz. But nobody cares what I like. I care. I matter.
Why do I care ? Let it go. Who cares? What does it matter ?? Okay I can now overthink that .
Just love them for whoever they are . Love the facades. Let it go. Ugh. Can I change at this late date? Okay I will try.