I never wanted for us to fall apart the way we did..but then, no one ever does.
Our love was strong, powerful and passionate ..the sort of love that we all search for our entire lives.
Because our attraction that was intensely overwhelming sometimes, we overlooked a lot of other things..
Things we should have been paying attention to.
We may have seen the truth but refused to acknowledge it, I can’t really say.
I tried to do whatever I could to make you happy..
Somewhere along the way, I began trying to fix you, to do whatever I could to make your life better..or so I thought.
I poured so much of myself into you and us that it slowly began to eat at me..
Tearing me apart, little by little.
I don’t know why I thought I had to save you, that you needed my help to fix your problems..
But that’s just who I am, I guess..a fixer.
I tried to do for you so much that I stopped doing for myself.
I lifted you up when you wouldn’t even stand on your own..and it broke me a little more every time.
So, now we stand at a crossroads and I don’t know where the path leads from here.
We had the love that most only dream of, but that’s been lost a little as we fought to keep going forward.
I don’t have any answers other than that I knew I loved you and I’d do whatever I could to make this work.
I’d fallen to my knees, drained as the struggle of carrying us both threatened to tear me apart..
But I’m rising again and finally remembering my own strength,
A little more every day, a little braver each time.
I know now I couldn’t save you or fix you- only you can do what needs to be done to make yourself happy.
So, as I stand in front of you, hand outstretched, the choice is yours to make.
Is our love worth fighting for, or does this chapter close our story?
I know we will do what’s best for both of us, just always know that I did all I could for love, for us.
If I have to walk away, I’ll always do it knowing I gave it my all.
In the end, that’s all we can really do..
Live, laugh and love til we can’t anymore.
I believe in you, in me, in us..
I know we can emerge from this battle stronger, wiser and closer.
What’s meant to be will always find a way, as will we.
Through the storms, I know we can make it, together..
Now more than ever, I truly believe…the
|ravenwolf
I look at the sky and feel better than I did yesterday! It happens like clockwork!
Best, Jay
What TV????
None! I didn’t watch television! I thought it was a waste of time!
Best, Jay
What Time of day??????
I LOVE morning !! I think clearer in the morning and have more énergy!
Best, Jay
I Get Excited About….
Everything!!!!! The day ! Breakfast ! Hot coffee ! The birds ! The weather!
Best, Jay
My name Is Janet Tallulah Jewell
I was Named after my grand mother on my father’s side.
I am motivated by….??
Everything !!! The day, the birds, and you name it…I wake up excited about being alive !!!
Best, Jay
The Ravenwolf
I wouldn’t really say that I’m the bravest soul out there.
In fact, there’s been a lot of times when I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring or where I was headed in life..
And that was very unsettling to me sometimes.
I’d pretend that I was okay with change and the unknown, but the truth was that it scared me to death.
I knew where I wanted to end up and who I wanted to be, but it was the path ahead that remained unknown.
I learned something along the way, though.
Bravery isn’t the absence of fear, but the decision to keep going despite being afraid..
And that’s exactly where I’m at.
I want to keep growing, evolving and becoming a better person..
I can see all the people saying I can’t change or focusing on all the things that I’ve done wrong and the bad choices I’ve made.
They’ll say that I can’t change, I won’t be able to accomplish my goals..
And what I’ve learned is that they don’t know me at all.
They’re too afraid to step outside their comfort zone and be brave in the ways that I’m choosing..
So they can’t fathom what I want and who I’ll become..
Because they’ll stay safe in their little worlds putting me down and criticizing me.
Let them.
I don’t need anyone’s permission and approval to find my wings and become the best version of myself.
They can have their empty dreams of material things and lackluster nights spent doing the same things over and over..
Never changing anything but the car they’re driving or the clothes they’re wearing.
I’m not here for such small dreams.
I want more.
I need more.
And one day, when I’ve finally figured out where I’m headed and well on my way to happiness and fulfillment..
I’ll just look back at the ones who never really believed in me at all.
“You said I couldn’t, right?”
I’ll just smile with pride..
“Watch me now.”
And I’ll never look back,
Because my dreams never had expirations…
and me?
I will keep proving to myself..
That each and every day,
I can be brave, strong and free,
Becoming more and more,
The person I’ve worked so hard to become.
|ravenwolf
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Ten Top movies
Gone With the Wind
Suddenly Last Summer
The Big Chill
On the Waterfront
You can’t take it with you
Camino Real
And others.
Best, Jay
The freedom to write anything I want to!!!
JAYSPEAK 