This is one of those days when I will write something, but as I start this blank document, I am not sure where this post is going.  There are a LOT of things I DON’T want to write about, so let’s see what I include.  For no good reason, I feel good this morning.  That makes me happy just because it makes me happy.  I still am having difficulty walking, so it will be an “at home” day, which is just fine with me.  I LOVE having nowhere to go.  It gives me a chance to write in my Journal, contemplate the Universe, and contemplate life in general.  Plus, I have a hot cup of coffee and a fresh croissant and Missy to keep me company. 


AND, my mind – which never stops. Haha.  It is cloudy and sprinkling rain.  A perfect day to write.

Life in Nice has taken on a “normalcy”.  Is there such a word?  I am accustomed to “my neighborhood”, and shopkeepers now smile and wave.   Many times, someone I know says, “Bonjour. Ca va?”  That means “Hello, how are you?”  I reply, “Ca va bien, merci.” That means, “I am fine, thank you.”  Then, I say, “Et vous?” (“And you?”).  “Bien, merci.”  Lots of “merci’s” and “bonjour’s”.  After that, you are on your own because I am still working on understanding the French language with the weird pronunciation of everything.  I would understand more if the person would write it down, and I could see what they are trying to say.  Needless to say, I read it better than I can understand it.  I can speak it better than I can understand it.  That is a “work in progress”. 

I haven’t written much about my knee because – first of all – it is not interesting, and – second of all – it is so distressing to me.  Would this have happened in the United States?  I don’t know.  Would Steve have died in the United States?  I don’t know.  Coulda, woulda, shoulda.  We were/are not in the United States, and I don’t plan on coming back any time soon.  Sorry.  I like it here in France.  BUT, I need to be able to walk!!  For those of you who don’t know, I had knee replacement surgery on September 27, 2018, and the orthopedic surgeon I used was highly recommended by my GP (General Practitioner).  And, when I asked others, people said he was excellent.  NOT.  Maybe he is excellent for others. But, for me, an 82-year-old woman (sigh), he put a prothesis into my knee for a much younger person.  As a result, it is 13 degrees off.  My right leg turns out and is shorter than my left.  I look “lame”.  I am “lame”.  It must be replaced as soon as possible because I am doing damage to my legs whenever I walk. 

Oops.  I just talked about what I was NOT going to discuss.  But, you can see how disgusting this is – that I must do the SAME surgery twice because the first doctor was —-  what?  Lots of questions.  Did he know and do it anyway?  Did he think he was doing it right?  Did he not get that memo?  What?  In the U.S., I would see if I have a lawsuit.  Not so fast in France.  Plus, it takes money to sue.  And, I don’t think that doctor intentionally put the wrong prothesis into my knee.  He was happy and said, “SUPER!” because my knee has great flexibility.  It does!  I can bend it great.  I just cannot WALK!  (Ugh.) No fun. (sigh)

SOOOOO, at a time in my life when I need to maximize every moment because EVERY moment is precious, I am being taught “patience”.  Ugh.  I am not a very patient person – you may have noticed.  I want to go on my SeaTreks.  Dine at the Cannes Film Festival. Explore castles with lots of steps. Swim in the Sea.  Take a train to Monaco for the Grand Prix.  Explore and move to Paris.  (Don’t worry, I will still visit the Sea a LOT!)  You get the picture. So, I don’t have a lot of fresh pictures to show you or exciting topics for blog posts.  And, I don’t think many of you care what I think about things.  Haha.  Besides, I am not sure what I think about any of this. “So, what do you do?”, you ask.  

I meet fun friends for lunch at favorite restaurants.  I watch what I eat and drink because I still have to get myself and my cane back home.  And, doing hair and makeup gives me reality checks galore.  Haha.  But all that is doable.  One of my favorite Michelin restaurants is “Le Bistro Gourmand”.  I went there this week with my good friend Cynthia.  Great food, good atmosphere. And a few current pictures with the obligatory “selfie”.


I post post-it’s all over the apartment to encourage me – “TAKE ACTION!!”, “DO IT ANYWAY”!!  Notice how all post-it’s are in “Active|Voice”, not “Passive”, e.g. A Plan Made or Action to be Taken!! (Note to Self:  Practice using sentences in the Active Voice. Avoid Passive Voice whenever possible.  “I did it!”; not, “It was done by me.”)

I work a lot at my computer, practicing law – Active California Law license, Current Law Clients and Cases and Entertainment Law Contracts, and continuing education as required by the California Bar (practicing law from Nice and eventually from Paris), Blogs, French, Research.  

I work on my next book with a working title of “After Steve Died”, transcribing and adding to my Journal notes that I wrote from August 31, 2016, up to this morning.  I write in it every day.  I won’t change any names – like in “Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1”, so my thoughts might offend some people as they did before. Well, Breaking News!!!  I am entitled to my OWN thoughts and refuse to live to please other people.  Period, end of story.  But, I plan to “temper” what I say.  In “Journal”, I did a literal translation of what I thought at that point in time (50 years ago), and it did not go well.  As the French would say, “C’est la vie!”.  “Journal” has since been “tempered”.  The original one remains in my computer files, in the “Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1” folder.  (sigh)

I followed the Cannes Film Festival.  It just ended. I cut and pasted this from an article I read and don’t know who wrote it.  I went back to get the author’s name to give credit, and I could not find it.  So, the Author is Unknown.  Sorry. Here are the winners.  Wonderful international filmmakers.  Future Plan:  Attend. Participate!


“The 72nd Cannes Film festival had lots of big names: Tarantino, Almodovar, Malick. In the end, Alejandro González Iñarritu’s jury opted for the smaller names, women, and the issues of poverty, displacement, and inequality.

Not that South Korea’s Joon-ho Bong is small – he’s a four-time winner of the Busan Film Critic Association and a five-time nominee at Cannes. And, this year, he led the pack, taking the Palme d’Or – the first for his country-  for Parasite, the story of a poor family who gets entangled with a wealthy clan.

The Grand Prix went to Cannes’ first black female filmmaker in the history of the festival – Mati Diop and her Atlantics, which focuses on the broken lives of refugees. The Jury Prize was a tie between Ladj Li’s Les Misérables – another take on the plight of displacement and what awaits refugees on the outskirts of big European cities, like Paris – and Kleber Mendonça Filho and Juliano Dornelles’ Bacurau, a dystopian thriller about hunting poor humans for sport.

Brazil had a particularly good year on the Croisette, with Karim Aïnouz taking the best film award at Un Certain Regard for his The Invisible Life of Eurídice Gusmão, and the Mendonça-Dornelles duo scooping the Jury prize – a bright, encouraging moment in a dark time for arts and culture in the country, under the new administration. Presenting a tie for the jury prize, filmmaker Michael Moore told the crowd, “Trump is the lie that enables more lying.”

The acting awards went to Little Joe’s Emily Beecham and Pain and Glory’s Antonio Banderas. Banderas dedicated his award to Almodóvar, saying “People think we live in a red carpet, but it’s not true. We suffer a lot, we sacrifice, and there is a lot of pain behind an actor of any kind. But there is also glory, and this is my night of glory,”

Writer-director Céline Sciamma received the screenplay award for Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which explores art through the female gaze. The director award went to Cannes darlings Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne for another refugee tale, Young Ahmed.

The Camera d’Or for first time director went to Guatemalan Cesar Diaz for his drama Our Mothers, about an anthropologist searching for his father in a country torn by civil war.

Iñárritu’s jury that included French author-artist-director Enki Bilal, French director Robin Campillo, Senegalese actress-director Maimouna N’Diaye, American actress Elle Fanning, Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos, Polish director Paweł Pawlikowski, American director Kelly Reichardt, and Italian director Alice Rohrwacher.


Palme d’Or: Parasite, Bong Joon-ho

Grand Prix: Atlantics, Mati Diop

Director: Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne, Young Ahmed

Actor: Antonio Banderas, Pain and Glory

Actress: Emily Beecham, Little Joe

Jury Prize — TIE: Les Misérables, Ladj Ly; Bacurau, Kleber Mendonça Filho

Screenplay: Céline Sciamma, Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Special Mention: Elia Suleiman, It Must Be Heaven


Camera d’Or: Our Mothers, Cesar Diaz

Short Films Palme d’Or: The Distance Between the Sky and Us, Vasilis Kekatos

Short Films Special Mention: Monster God, Agustina San Martin

Golden Eye Documentary Prize: For Sama

Ecumenical Jury Prize: Hidden Life, Terrence Malick

Queer Palm: Portrait of a Lady on Fire,  Céline Sciamma


Un Certain Regard Award: The Invisible Life of Eurídice Gusmão, Karim Aïnouz

Jury Prize: Fire Will Come, Oliver Laxe

Best Director: Kantemir Balagov, Beanpole

Best Performance: Chiara Mastroianni, On a Magical Night

Best Screenplay: Meryem Benm’Barek, Sofia

Special Jury Prize: Albert Serra, Liberté

Special Jury Mention Joan of Arc, Bruno Dumont

Coup de Coeur Award: A Brother’s Love, Monia Chokri; The Climb, Michael Angelo Covino


Society of Dramatic Authors and Composers Prize: An Easy Girl, Rebecca Zlotowski

Europa Cinemas Label: Alice and the Mayor, Nicolas Parisier”

                                          -AUTHOR UNKNOWN (sorry)

I think plans at necessary to stay engaged in life.  Maybe not for others.  For me.  YES!  It is easy to stay home, spread doom and gloom, stay in bed until noon and watch soap operas. Ugh. No, I plan to move to Paris, get an agent, get new head shots, and explore the international film industry!  At the same time, I will practice law in the U.S. from a Paris address.  Ok, OK.  Maybe these are pipe dreams, but I am entitled to my OWN pipe dreams.  I will NOT retire and move into a comfortable apartment with a big patio and room for a garden in the South of France and contemplate the Sea.  (Sigh.)  What is wrong with me?   Well, choose the uncomfortable.  Otherwise, I will just sit down, have a bunch of knee surgeries, feel sorry for myself, not get fat from the tiny portions of delicious French cuisine they serve here, and drink French wine. Enjoy life and good friends.  Haha.  Spare me that comfort!!!   (Just kidding!)

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See.  I told you we would enjoy a few minutes together – that is, if you have read this far.  Meanwhile, I am looking forward to seeing my son Craig and my daughter-in-law, Jean, in 3 weeks. 


After that, I have plans……….  Stay tuned.  I will close with a thought for today.


Best, Jay


Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah.


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