“RAMBLINGS TO REV UP THE ENGINE”(wait! I don’t have a car……)

This is one of those days when I have so many topics to discuss that I am having difficulty choosing one.  Post topics come to me in the middle of the night when I have so much to discuss with all of you. Haha.  You have become very important in my life – like it or not!!  Here are some if the topics I have been considering during “Jay’s Think Tank” , which occurs at some point between the hours of 2 a.m. and 5 a.m (sigh):

  • The Point of No Return. Are we there yet? 
  • A Brand-New Start. Taking Stock of things……  Does it matter? aka Plans v. Dreams
  • Hope/Passive v. Plans/Active. Is it better to hope something happens or make plans to do something, even if it is wrong?
  • Once Upon a Time in Hollywood………. Janet Tallulah appeared on the scene. Same time period.
  • The Gap Between Expectations and What Happens.
  • My Side of the Story. ……No one Will Know MY Side of the Story.  ……Or Understand.  …..Or care.  It is not easy to accept that reality. 
  • My Treasure Chest v. My Hope Chest
  • Choose What You Want to Believe …… there is NO answer.
  • Cooperation is Not in Vogue. Now, it is ‘Fuck You’!!
  • Each person had a terrible childhood. Just ask him/her. If the answer is “It was wonderful”, ………   hmmmmmmmm
  • King of Hearts. The inmates are running the asylum.

See what I mean?  I have something to say about all eleven of those items.  And, then some.  I don’t have a favorite today.  Instead, I am just rambling and thinking about the last two weeks.  During this time, I have put very little demands on myself.  I decided to enjoy the holidays and these last few weeks in Nice. I love Nice.  It is beautiful.  That is not why I am leaving.  North Georgia is beautiful.  That is not why I left.  Los Angeles (to me) is beautiful.  That is not why I left.  Orange County is exquisite.  That is not why I left.  And, you don’t need to know my side of the story. 

Let me just say, I have my reasons for all of it.  And, I am not the kind of person that sits around and “hopes” something will happen.  I “hope” we don’t go to war with Iran.  But, I am “making plans” to move to Paris.  I “hope” a good leader steps out of the Greek Chorus, like Thespis, and puts the good people back in charge of my land who don’t put kids in cages.   I am “making plans” to downsize drastically, e.g. get rid of things I want, to move more easily from place to place – wherever that may be.  I “hope” I don’t die in a Terrorist Attack.  I am “making plans” to live a long life in art and love and good health. So, if I were to give you any advice, should you be depressed for any reason, make a plan of some sort. It could be as simple as “clean out that box”, or “rearrange the hall closet, or “clear out a section of the garage” or whatever.  But, a very wise counsellor told me never to give advice.  Suggestion:  Listen intently, then give “suggestions”.  That’s a suggestion. 

I know enough about myself to know that – when I leave somewhere, I seldom go back.  Maybe an occasional visit, but …….  So, I am spending my days doing things I enjoy. Walking, dining, downsizing.  I am proud to report that I am not doing that much shopping as I used to.  Labels still matter, but not as much.

That said, ALL BETS ARE OFF WHEN I GET TO PARIS.   I don’t know what I will do.  Everything seems different.  My thought patterns, my dreams, my perspectives, my friends, my memories, my priorities.  I am changing. To what?  I don’t know.  I just know that things feel different. 

And, as Stevespeak would say, “But enough about me, what about you?  What do you think of me?”

Or, “Let’s get together.  Not today. Not tomorrow.  Maybe, …never. 

Or “Let’s have lunch.  Have your girl call my girl.” 

OK, just for the record, here are two pictures of the Sea that I think are beautiful.  I LOVE the Sea.  That is not why I am leaving……..   Wait!  Did I already say that?


And four memes for the New Decade! (Thank you to the original posters)……


And, now FOR MY FAVORITE!!!!



Best, JAY!!


Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah.

2 thoughts on ““RAMBLINGS TO REV UP THE ENGINE”(wait! I don’t have a car……)

  1. You shared your feelings and I understood what you didn’t say I can only imagine how you feel and wish you all the happiness you’ll find in Paris I’m 80 and I hope you’ll be careful as we live in a different world than it used to be Most people speak English in Paris or at least
    I have no trouble when I make my annual Paris trip that I have to make.i inheritance from my late husband requires it every April.
    Does the grief ever let up, not
    For me, it has been five years since I lost my soulmate. There’s a void that can’t be filled.
    I’ve said enough, maybe too much.
    Sending my love to you & Missy.

    Liked by 1 person

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