22 DAYS TO GO – Paris-Bound

We are living in interesting times!  That is definitely one way to look at the news.  I don’t like most of what I see and hear.  AND, I am not getting my way with most things, but I will concede– the news is not boring. Alarming, yes. Boring, no. And, when I am just doing things, I am trying to STOP taking everything personally.  The problem is – at home in the South, I was TRAINED to take everything personally. (Sigh).  That habit is not an easy one to break – try as I might.  Sometimes, I succeed.  Sometimes, I don’t.   But, it doesn’t’ matter because people all over the WORLD take things personally –  college students in Madison, Wisconsin; lawyers in Los Angeles; the French; the British, the Canadians; the Germans. Regardless of whether it is meant to be personal or not.

But I digress….   I also oftentimes say one thing and do another.  (Sigh) But, for now, I have stopped trying to do the right thing.  There is no right thing. I am looking out for myself.  If others think I am not keeping my word, so be it. I struggle with living over here in France by myself and sometimes that means breaking my word that I gave with good intentions at the time.

That said, I have 22 days to go until I head “home” – to Paris.  That is where I plan to stay – unless I change my mind.  Haha.  Frankly, I am filled with a combination of terror and anticipation – which brings me back to the beginning: “I am living in interesting times!”  And, my personal terror is far worse than my global terror.  Expectations and reality are probably going to collide in a massive crash!!  Haha.  That is one way to lessen the global terror. 

I just wish that I were a tad younger with more energy) and a quicker step.  Oh, well.  If wishes were horses, we’d all take a ride.  (Thank you, Daddy!) Coulda, woulda, shoulda. (Thank you, Steve!)  Alas and Alack.   Oh, dear me.  The sky is falling in!!  (Henny Penny – remember?)  Well, hey!  if one does something that is out of the ordinary, it all boils down to resiliency.  And, it is not every day that a woman alone in her 80’s moves to Paris!  Haha.  That is funny!

At this point, I am in a holding pattern with not a lot left to do.  I have done most of the groundwork and preparation.  Now, the execution.  I have simplified the simple.  I have downsized the downsize.  Help!  I have thrown the baby out with the bathwater. I am down to bare bones.  Literally and figuratively, I have lost my appetite.  What?????? 

I am looking forward with glee.  What am I looking forward to, you ask?

  • Being in the City where I have always wanted to be (I don’t know why?)
  • Being in a café society at a time in my life when I can no longer do sports
  • Meeting interesting people who accept me at my age and don’t treat me like I don’t have any sense
  • Respect
  • Having shops that sell what I want
  • Finding good doctors that (hopefully) know what they are doing
  • Going to museums and sitting for a while
  • Listening to good music in a cabaret
  • Going to more good theatre
  • Dining with people I already know in Paris in good restaurants
  • Having more energy
  • Singing, no matter what it sounds like
  • Getting an agent and new headshots
  • Acting
  • Learning how to use the buses and the metro
  • Being called an American Expat in Paris
  • Getting an apartment with trees outside the window
  • Finding a retirement community for when I get older
  • Meeting someone to spend time with
  • Learning to cook simple French meals and good pasta
  • Possibly looking for a meet-up, focusing on Photography or Classical Piano.
  • Getting back in fashion somewhat
  • Getting my Steinway fixed
  • Moving to a better neighborhood
  • Selling Steve’s N-Scale USA trains
  • Learning how to use Steve’s Digital Panasonic camera and making a movie

Now, these are just ideas that I may or may not do. I would need another lifetime to do them all.  But, they all sound interesting to me.  Considering my age, I mainly plan to build the foundation for when I get infirm so that I can die with “vine leaves in my hair”.  aka Eilert Løvborg.  (“Hedda Gabler”)  And, learn how to avoid the unpleasant, like demonstrations and wars.  Haha. The reality is – I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN OR WHAT I WILL DO!  I want to give it a try.   

I plan to keep writing small tidbits on this blog.  I enjoy it and people seem to like it, too. I now have had 6,836 visitors from all over the world and over 35,500 views.  That is amazing to me.  Especially when I really just ramble most of the time.  Anyway, thanks for listening.  Stay tuned……

No memes. No photos.  Simply sending love to all of you, and hopefully providing some inspiration.

Best, Jay


Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah.

7 thoughts on “22 DAYS TO GO – Paris-Bound

  1. HI, A nice surprise today to see your blog. I had thought maybe last week’s might be your last for a while since I assumed you were busy. But, you are not so busy since you have downsized to the max. I have to say I don’t envy you one bit but do admire your gumption. You’ve always had a lot of that! Keep it up and good luck!

    Kay >

    Liked by 1 person

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