THIS IS MORE THAN YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW. And more than I EVER should put into writing. But, I am getting in touch with myself more each day and discovering things I really love about me . These are things that come to mind.  I have required some form of abuse since childhood.  I don’t know why but I chose friends who would criticize me and would treat me with disdain. I did not respect people who were nice to me. And I married men who would feed my needs for abuse. Each one put me down.  

Fast forward to Janet Jewell today at 85, living alone in an apartment in Paris France. WWIII is threatening and a pandemic is outside. Wow. What has happened??? Why has Janet chosen to emerge at this late date?

Janet speaks: “I want to go back and try it again. I want to do better at living my life.  I can’t?  I want to give Janet lots of love and encouragement. I want to have different friends, different husbands and surround myself with people who have love and character. I know who they are and were.  I know who they are now. So anger and high blood pressure propelled me upward and onward and boom. I crashed but did not burn.”

“I still am alive. It is not too late and I am not too old. I have hit bottom and I want to turn around. I may have lots of cracks but I am still Janet Jewell. So this is breaking news for you and me. Janet is back with brain strokes and a past history that is murky. I see names and don’t remember who they were/are. Oops. No matter. I remember the abuse. And I release the abusers and set them free.” MEANWHILE, IN ANOTHER PART OF THE FOREST……

APRIL – ready or not . I am not ready. Winter just returned to Paris with snow, what ?????).  Plus lots of deadlines and birthdays and a wedding . Problems galore. And a war.

The good news is that I have discovered THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE ME AT ALL AND THERE WON’T EVER BE. I AM UNIQUE!!!! Isn’t that wonderful????? And, I had a wonderful birthday and am glad it is over. I am officially 85. Woweeee. Thank you to Everyone for the birthday wishes on March 30. I had so much fun working with you. I hope I didn’t miss anyone. These birthdays are special, especially during these perilous times. As you may or may not know, I am living in Paris, France, and I am healing from brain strokes and a botched knee surgery. But, I am going to try to begin some kind of daily exercise after I get my booster to the booster. Wish me luck.

I want another booster because for over-80, it is recommended. The numbers out there are not good in Europe.   And, as a friend of mine said, “if I die because I touched my face, I am going to be pissed!”  HAHA.  We all want to have “vine leaves in our hair”, like Hedda Gabler’s boyfriend Eilert Lovborg.  She was pissed because he died drunk in a ditch. 

Yesterday was the first day of my new year. It is the beginning of my new journey. Feeling deep sadness and fear about the situation in Ukraine… I grew up during WWII.… and worry about WWIII.

And yet I am overflowing with gratitude…. the sunshine, the rain and the flowers; for my family… particularly my incredible sons who have grown up to be such fascinating men, ….and for my friends… whom I love and feel trusted by; for music… always for music…the great healer and my ability to write my blog almost every week for 6 years.

BREAKING NEWS: And I want to share with you a new discovery that I think is very interesting. A book by a friend of mine – Suzanne White.

DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? THE NEW ASTROLOGY FOR THE 21ST CENTURY READS YOUR PERSONALITY AND DESCRIBES YOUR CHARACTER. This engaging book of character study based on Chinese and Western astrology combined, offers readers not 12 but 144 signs of the zodiac. By blending the two zodiacs, White has created a synthesis of the World’s Two Greatest Astrological systems. White’s accuracy with character reading is positively uncanny! You will wonder if she has been reading your mail. This book is a veritable treasure chest of insights into your own personality and that of everyone you know or meet up with in your lifetime. THE NEW ASTROLOGY FOR THE 21ST CENTURY is a keeper. You will refer back to it many times – for the rest of your life”  



On a totally different note, our ability to enjoy outdoor-dining in cold weather has come to an end, as the outdoor restaurant terrace heaters were banned in France as of April 1st. The measure is expected to save 500,000 tons of CO2 each year. When Covid-19 hit, the heaters were our godsend, enabling us to dine outdoors even in inclement cold weather. They wanted to enforce it a year ago, but postponed the inevitable. So now that we can safely be indoors once again, the ban is in full force. There are a few exceptions, however—”the closed tents of circuses and fairground activities; covered and closed mobile installations for temporary cultural, sporting or festive events; waiting areas in stations, ports and airports; bars, cafes, restaurants whose terraces are entirely ‘covered and closed on their sides by solid walls connected by an airtight joint to the upper wall

“As you sow, so shall you reap.”

“Ask and it shall be given to you, knock and the doors will be opened.”

As humans we’ve been provided with all the necessary ingredients in the recipe for a healthy and happy and a prosperous life and yet we’re still searching for a way to a better life. 

Demand what you want and expect to receive it and the universe will conspire on your behalf. Stop hoping and wishing. We must believe and demand and expect to receive what we want and things will start happening for us. 

I’m showing you the way. You don’t need to take my word for it, it’s based on the laws of the universe.

All blessings.

Springtime in Paris may bring April showers, but also days of glorious sunshine. So, come prepared with a parapluie (umbrella) as well as your lunettes (sunglasses). As Paris continues to reopen, expand, and welcome visitors there’s lots to do and see. Stay tuned……



Support JAYSPEAK, please. I need it.


Published by jjaywmac

Jay W. MacIntosh (born Janet Tallulah Jewell) is a retired attorney, actress, and writer from the United States, living in Paris, France. She is a member of the California Bar and selected to the 2018, 2019, 2020 Southern California Super Lawyers list. She holds a Master’s Degree in Drama from the University of Georgia and is a member of Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi, and Zodiac Scholastic Society. As an actress, she is a member of The Actors Studio, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), SAG-AFTRA, and ASCAP, performing in film and television in the United States and France. Her published works include Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 1, Journal of Janet Tallulah, Volume 2, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, JAYSPEAK on the Côte d’Azur, and Janet Tallulah.


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