“Jayspeak on the Côte d’Azur”
LIMITATIONS
61 years ago, February 23, 1958, my beautiful daughter, Tracy Lee MacIntyre, was born in Baptist Memorial Hospital in San Antonio, Texas, at 4:11 p.m. The doctor was Dr, Alfred Celaya and the nurse was Mrs. Nimitz. Darrell was a Second Lieutenant in the Army, stationed at Fort Sam Houston for a two-year requirement in R.O.T.C. before going back to Law School. We were living at 247 Emporia Boulevard, Apt. 7, San Antonio, TX. She weighed 7 lbs, 4 1/2 oz. and was 18″ long. I was in Room 301.
I was planning to write more about her because I love/loved her very much and thought we would be friends forever. It is difficult to do. She went on to graduate from UCLA with a degree in classical guitar, and graduate with her masters degree and PhD from Pepperdine in child psychology.
She has lived most of her life in Colorado Springs, CO. But, I don’t know much else about her. We have lived a lifetime apart. Somewhere along the way, something went very wrong. A lot of accusations were made. I will never know whether they are/were true or not. I had difficulty accepting them at the time. These days, I think they were/are true. But, you think you know someone, and you don’t. I have not seen her since 1999 – 20 years ago. I was so happy that we were getting along.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, want to see her, wonder who she is, and what she is like. But, we never could get along as adults. Both of us are culpable. Long story that will probably remain unwritten. But, on this, her 61st birthday, I wish her well and hope she is surrounded by good friends who love her and lots of loving dogs and beautiful cats. This morning, I walked to Notre Dame and lit two candles for us, thinking about limitations. At 81, going on 82, and a limited budget, I am now subject to limitations that I didn’t have before. Is that an excuse? I am not sure. We both have suffered heartache. I am not sure that I can repair anything at this late date. I don’t think I can repair much of anything.
Are “limitations” merely an excuse/ Limitations……….
Have you even thought about the fact that we are always dealing with limits of one sort or another – they never seem to stop. This morning, I was thinking that I am stopped from doing some things I want to do because of my age. Not that I cannot do them, or cannot afford them, or do not want them, but solely because of my age – 81, going on 82. I am supposed to be “old” – no matter whether I feel or look old, or not. Ugh. I HATE that ! Now, granted there are some things that I CANNOT do, but I am not talking about those things.
At the other end of the spectrum, I had to wait – until I was 13, until I was 16, until I was 18, until I was 21, THEN LIFE HAPPENED until I was 65, then it became “before” – before 60, before 65, before 75, before 80, before death. Ugh. I HATE that ! Now, a lot of this is country-specific. In France, I cannot get a mortgage after 75. Not true in the U.S. A lot of French people won’t rent to me because I am going to rent their apartment and DIE there. NO, I AM NOT!!!!! Or that I am from the U.S. and will not pay my rent because I am retired with income in the U.S., not France. Ugh. YES, I WILL!!!
As an actress, I knew to learn the limits (the rules) before I did anything. Most of them were unwritten. As an attorney, I had to deal with limits and laws, starting in Law School and going from there. Most of those were written. With both sets of rules, I learned the ones I could break and those that I could not break. Same with dating, marriage, and having children. “Having and keeping friends” has its own set of rules, most people setting what they – knowingly or unknowingly – call “boundaries”.
In France, I am really confused. Everything is different. People are here from all over the world and each one of them with his/her own set of boundaries. Nothing is what it seems or even familiar. So, I am constantly groping around in the dark, feeling the walls for a light switch.
Maybe some of you can identify with some of this. A lot reminiscing and rambling and regretting, and ……. on it goes. As the French would say, C’est La Vie! As the Americans would say, “Get a life!”
Best, Jay
CARNAVAL DE NICE
This is my 4th February in Nice, and I STILL have not gone to a Carnaval Parade. Why, you ask? …Well, it could be because I don’t like events with crowds. Never did – except for the GHS football games. But, rock concerts and such, no. I liked to go to the Hollywood Bowl. That was an exception. Or it could because I still have vivid memories of the 2016 Nice terror attack and my horror at how close we came to being there. Many of our friends were there. Steve and I happened to be on vacation in Sardinia, coming home the next day.
What is the Carnaval de Nice? Well, here is a tad of background. “Carnival is the most important Winter event on the French Riviera and has been run since the Middle-Ages. In the Ancient Times, the Winter solstice was an occasion for pagan festivals and renewal celebrations. The word ‘carnival’ derives from the Latin ‘carnelevare‘ meaning ‘to take out the meat’. The medieval Church banished meat from the table during the whole period of Lent, as it did with sugar, ingredients containing fat, eggs and dairy products. Before the start of the fasting period of Lent (on Ash Wednesday), people had fun running Carnivals as it was their last chance until Easter to eat meat. The celebration was also a way to chase off the gloom of winter in the hope of Spring.”
In February 2016, Steve and I were just beginning to explore our new home. We did not know that much about Carnaval. Also, we lived on one of the hills here – Cimiez, and the festivities were down in Nice Centre.
In February 2017, I was a student at Alliance Francaise, and participated in their Carnaval photography contest. I wrote about that in JAYSPEAK, posting many of my photographs and the photographs of the winners. That theme was King of Energy!
In February 2018, I vowed to go to a Carnaval Parade. I didn’t. I don’t remember why – probably because I had moved down into Nice Centre and was still getting used to the crowds and congestion that was going on in town, especially during Carnaval weeks.
Now, it is February 2019. If I get a chance, I plan to show up during one of the Parades during the day. The bleachers are huge, and the crowds are immense!! It would be nice to know someone with a balcony on the Parade Route. That’s the best way to watch!!
TONIGHT! IT ALL STARTS TONIGHT!! This year, the king is King of Cinema. I tried to find a picture of him to post. Someone has one on Instagram, so I will find one at some point and post it. I know my curiosity and free spirit approach to life will prevail, and I will show up at a Parade at some point. It sounds and looks like a LOT of fun!! And a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I will take pictures and post them from time to time. The floats are great!!!
...Copyright © French Moments Ltd unless otherwise stated.
Best, Jay
A FIRESIDE CHAT
It is raining on my patio. Well, the tiles are wet. A good day for chatting with you about a lot of nothing. I have a lot on my mind, but nothing I want to commit to paper….. yet. So, just a moment to have a cup of tea with you and chat.
February is a good month to reevaluate a lot of things. Re-sort my mind. I have also “been under the weather” this week with a bad cold. I would have called this the “flu” before a friend said it was a bad cold because – if it had been the flu, I would still be in bed. I don’t think people have “colds” anymore, do they? Whatever it is called, it starts with a sore throat, progresses in the nose, travels into the chest, feels and sounds croupy, then just aches a lot. It was bad enough on Tuesday for me to start antibiotics because it was so bad in my chest. So, even though on Friday and on Saturday, I met friends for lunch, I did not feel well. But, I had made the lunch dates several weeks ago and wanted to keep the commitments. So I did. But, I crashed when I got home both days. So far, so good.
These days, I am still in knee-replacement recovery mode. But, soon, I will begin some “SeaTreks”. Hopefully, I will get some good photos for you to enjoy. But, right now, I am just “saving” things and photographs that catch my eye on Facebook. AMAZING photos are on my Instagram feed. But, I cannot save them the same way. I have other photographers who I “follow” on Instagram and their shots of Nice are breathtaking. They also follow me, but I am behind schedule because of my lack of current shots. That will soon change, but right now, I am enjoying the work of others.
These are some of the things I have saved from Facebook in January and February. Just shots and sayings I like.
See what I mean!!! Aren’t those two shots beautiful???? And, sayings or shots that speak to me…..
AND, important reminders…….
A joke…….
A tad of politics, just because……
Some shameless self promotion…….
A tad of “ADVICE” to young and old……
AND, A GOOD TIME IS HAD BY ALL!!!!!!
Best, Jay
CARTOONS & COMMENTARIES
Every now and then, you know that I like to post cartoons and commentaries that I like, especially when I want to post something and don’t feel inspired to write original material. This is one of those days. My mind is spinning today with so many things to worry about, so here goes just a fun post for me. I hope you enjoy it, too.
FIRST, the cartoons…
NOW, the fun commentaries…
Best, Jay
JIM MASTERS ON CUTV-NEWS-RADIO IS FEELING INSPIRED
This is what Jim Masters posted on his Facebook page yesterday, January 16, 2019:
*She’s worked on movies with the Beatles (Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band), the Bee Gees, Peter Frampton, she’s appeared in countless TV shows, films and commercials. Today LIVE and direct from Nice, France @ 11am eastern, I’ll have the great pleasure of interviewing actress. attorney, real estate agent, college professor, and author Jay W. MacIntosh. MacIntosh is author of several books including Janet Tallulah, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, and Jayspeak on the Côte d’Azu. She attributes her go-getter attitude and fearlessness to her father’s remarkable leadership skills he instilled with her when she was a very young child. After graduating from the University of Georgia with her master’s degree, Jay became a college Professor landing Head of the Department of Drama at Brenau College (now Brenau University) and Chairman of Division of Humanities for a branch of the University of Georgia. Afterwards, Jay, went into acting, began a lucrative career in real estate, and at the age of 62 graduated from law school and was ultimately recognized as a Super Lawyer. After moving to the south of France, she published seven books. Jay W. MacIntosh joins me LIVE @ 11am eastern on CUTV News Radio worldwide.”
FOLLOW-UP JIM MASTERS COMMENTS:
JM: ”She was a joy, a hoot and a real pleasure to welcome to the show and interview. Looking forward to more soon too!”
JWM: “I loved every minute!”
Live link to the entire interview for those who may be interested:
Best, Jay
EMPOWERING WOMEN – CUTVNEWS RADIO
At this time in my life, when I am all but retired and still fighting to stay in the game, somehow, I came to the attention of CUTVnews Radio and their series “EMPOWERING WOMEN”. Tomorrow, I will be interviewed live by Jim Masters about my life on the radio. It will air at 10:00 a.m. EST. That will be 4:00 p.m. here in Nice. This is the direct link to the show, if you are interested. I have no idea what will happen, but I can tell you this! It will be fun! I LOVE doing things like this.
Best, Jay
AS 2019 BEGINS…..
FOOD FOR THOUGHT – THE LAW OF UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES
When I married Darrell MacIntyre at the end of my sophomore year, that all changed. He was a graduating senior from Madison, Wisconsin, with aspirations of becoming a lawyer.
Two years later, I found myself at the University of Georgia with the beginnings of a family. I just wanted to get my degree at that point – in something, preferably in Speech. Darrell was in Law School. So, at Registration, I was sent to the Department of Speech and Drama. When I talked to Registration, I told them about my major in Speech at Wisconsin. They said that would be the Department of Journalism at UGA, and there were prerequisites – journalism 101, 102, etc. I did not have that kind of time so I enrolled in the Department of Speech and Drama. That would let me get a degree in the shortest amount of time. During those days, if women had a family, they were “supposed” to stay home and tend to the children. Ugh. Not me!!!
What happened? LIFE HAPPENED!! I have written a book about some of the things that happened. “Janet Tallulah”.
Over the years, I have not enjoyed “Pundit” shows. In fact, most of them drive me crazy. Steve watched them incessantly. Ugh. But Christiane’s CNN program, I enjoy.
This fall, one of her guests was a writer of a novel “The Law of Unintended Consequences. John Ross. The book was listed by The New York Times‘ Sunday Book Review as one of the most sought after out-of-print books of 2013. The cover has Lady Justice being assaulted by an ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives) agent.
I have not read the book but I was immediately interested in the sociological concept. It reminded me of an article I read pointing out that relatively minor incidents in Europe (in the early 1900’s) resulted in helping to cause World War I. I decided learn more about the Law of Unintended Consequences and WWI, especially since Nice has a lot of WWI Monuments and plaques around town.
This is what I read in Wikipedia:
“Scholars doing short-term analysis focused on the summer of 1914 ask if the conflict could have been stopped, or whether it was out of control. The immediate causes lay in decisions made by statesmen and generals during the July Crisis of 1914. This crisis was triggered by the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria by a Bosnian Serb who had been supported by a nationalist organization in Serbia. The crisis escalated as the conflict between Austria-Hungary and Serbia came to involve Russia, Germany, France, and ultimately Belgium and Great Britain.”
A nationalist organization in Serbia assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria. That incident resulted in conflict between countries that resulted in World War I. Intensity, then High Impact. Unintended Consequences. On a World level, is that what is happening now?
Ross’ book continues by pointing out that unintended consequences can be grouped into three types:
- Unexpected benefit: A positive unexpected benefit , also referred to as luck, serendipity or a windfall.
- Unexpected drawback: An unexpected detriment occurring in addition to the desired effect of the policy.
- Perverse result: A perverse effect contrary to what was originally intended – when an intended solution makes a problem worse.
On a personal level, that concept has applied to most of my life. Gives me a lot to think about. Of course, I know how the things listed below turned out. Personal decisions that had unintended consequences. Things that come to mind for me – in a nutshell – that may or may not be developed on another day, are the following:
1) Trying to get two of my GHS friends to like me by taking a cigarette so that I could join them outside in order to feel “included”;
2) Choosing University of Wisconsin right out of Gainesville High School, Gainesville, Georgia because it was a good school located on two lakes, part of the Big Ten, had red and white colors, and its school song was “On Wisconsin”; (Sigh)
3) Pledging Kappa Alpha Theta instead of Kappa Kappa Gamma because two of my rush-mates made fun of KKG and I wanted them to like me;
4) Staying at the University of Wisconsin for my sophomore year instead of transferring to UCLA (where I had been accepted) so that I could live in the Theta house before transferring; (It was an honor to live in the House when you were a sophomore. I was eligible because I had high grades. Most were juniors and seniors);
5) Getting “pinned” to Darrell MacIntyre because he was good-looking and a lot of girls wanted him. Plus, the “Pinning Ceremony” was a big deal in the House.
And, on it goes for years. Still is. “Roads not Taken” or “Crossroads” or “Serendipity” or “flukes” or … something like that. I have had unexpected benefits, unexpected drawbacks, and perverse results. Duh. And, now I am observing unintended consequences in the world as well in my life in overlapping succession. Just some food for thought in these first few day of 2019. …..
Best, Jay
JAYSPEAK 